What Matters In Relationship
A few months back, I was having a discussion about relationship with one of my friends. During the discussion, I asked about the place of age as it regards relationship. That is, if it is expected for the man to be older and other stuffs. To my surprise, he responded that in his opinion, age can be seen as just set of numbers. He went further to explain what really matters in relationship, which the success of any relationship, or the lack of it, can be traceable to. From what we discussed, I will be dropping a few details here. Maybe so that people will start majoring on the major things and not only on the minor.
The first factor to consider is maturity and experiences about life. You can be with someone that is way older but with little level of maturity and it will make the relationship stressful but you can also be with someone that is in their early 20's and still have a high level of mental, emotional and psychological maturity and will make the relationship worthwhile. This is why I believe that age does not necessarily add up to one's maturity, rather the accumulation of experiences from life is part of what make one mature. People normally think that the older one gets, the more mature they tend to become, but I tell you that getting older in isolation from the real world without seeing things from other people's perspectives nor interacting with them may not add to maturity. Think about it.
The next factor that matters in relationship that we will look at is love. This cannot be overemphasised. Of course, how will you even go into relationship with someone who you do not have love for? It is love that will make you to welcome the person as they are, not expecting them to be perfect but accepting their flaws and helping them to be better. You have to also know that, just like many other things in life, love can grow. You may not have loved them as much at the initial but with commitment, constantly staying with them, your love for them will tend to increase.
It is worthy to note that love is a major hinge upon which many other factors hang, and will bring us to the next factor to consider. For relationship to work, the parties involved must grow fondness for each other. It is generally believed that where someone's attention and heart are, is the same place their treasures are. If you are in a relationship with someone you claim to love and they do not call nor check up on you until you call them, then they may not feel the same way about you. How will you even stay for days without talking with your partner and you give excuses that you have been busy? Are you so busy that you cannot talk with your partner when you also have time to eat and do other social activities? You should be attentive to these details when going into relationship. If they do not like your company, then they do not value you, maybe they only need something else from you. Be cautious.
Another important thing that also matter in relationship is life's interests, goals, and ambitions. If you are with someone going in an entirely opposite direction as you are or with a totally different view about life or whose interests negate your own, then you are already in a wrong relationship. This is just to let you know that your relationship should help to make you, not destroy you. If your partner is dragging you to the wrong direction, then you need to break out for your own good. If you join someone going to a different route, you will not arrive at your own destination and at the end, you would have wasted your time in vain. So when going into a relationship, it is better to go with someone who share similar life's interests, school of thought, etc, so that both of you can complement yourselves.
The final factor to consider here as regards relationship is long-term consideration. Do not just go into a relationship because you just want temporary gratification, try to think the future. If your partner has always dodged discussions about your future with them, then it should give you the suspicions that they may not even have a future with you. Look beyond just the very present you are in and also focus on what the future holds. If you have the future in mind in your relationship, it will help you to put in commitment, sacrifices, plans, and actions to make it work.
Thanks for reading
