teaching in presence
Many of us misunderstand the teaching of presence, many of us do not realize that presence is being with the feelings I have in the present, feelings are past or future, they are not the present but are in my present and in my present if I am afraid of tomorrow it is now that I am afraid..
teach children to express all their fear by teaching them that fear is not wrong, show them that you too are afraid but that being afraid is not so terrible, show them that being anxious, it can happen but that anxiety is just anxiety and how it comes, goes.
<Now it is here, come on let's stay with the anxiety for a bit>..
<Listen let's do something, let's play me, you and the anxiety>..these are magnificent things to transmit to children and not <come on let's play so you can distract yourself from the anxiety> do you understand the difference?
Always teach children to play if there is anxiety, to play with fear, if they want to cry make them cry until the end, tell them to cry as much as they want.
If the child now has the desire to cry his presence is in the crying and the presence goes to the bottom of what is there..
If you instead say you shouldn't cry, you shouldn't be afraid you are teaching how to stick the mole in the ground, and here you are teaching the child to put on a positive facade that has nothing extraordinary, sacred is just a plastic smile, consolation often sounds like distraction, it is you who with the excuse of the present want to distract them from their present that is now made of sadness, stay with them and tell them < okay we are a little sad, let's see what happens, let's play a game we are sad together >
If you play with this, you will realize that you have an extraordinary effect on children but you are teaching them not to deny a side of them that is now present …
It is exactly what we should all do with our fear as we do with our inner child, do it with your outer child.
This is an initiatory teaching, because the child will realize that it is only fear, it is only sadness, when you teach them not to be afraid, they will learn that fear is a very serious thing because the parent fears it.