Psychology and Mind: When "Temporary Setbacks" Become a LIFESTYLE!

Earlier today, I was listening to somebody give a lecture about taking responsibility and standing in accountability for the outcomes of actions you take.

Considering some of the points being raised, the lecture made me think back to my University days and to the unfortunate patterns and habits of a couple of friends of mine from back then.

My friend Henry was a really nice person, all in all. But Henry had this annoying habit of eternally suffering from one "temporary setback" or another, and these kept his life in a state of being perpetually upside down.

He seemed extremely accident-prone — or prone to misfortune of one kind or another. Somehow it seemed like there were always "mysterious circumstances" that caused him to lose his job, and he ended up being broke most of the time, and virtually every car he owned seemed to either develop massive mechanical problems or end up stolen.

Each time one of these things happened, Henry would just insist that it was a "temporary setback" and he just needed a little bit of a leg up to get back on his feet. And that would be something he would generally share with our entire group of friends. He never directly asked for money, he just "hinted" that he could use some.

As I look back at Henry's life from my current vantage point — at which 40 years have passed — it is clear to me that some people experience a stream of constant "temporary setbacks" and there's nothing temporary about them, and in fact chaos is their lifestyle not their temporary setback.

The thing about Henry, was that he never seemed to learn from his mistakes, and he always relied on his friends to bail him out of whatever misfortune he was in. Because he was a nice person and always seemed very sincere about it "not being his fault" that something bad had happened to him most of us took pity on him and would help him out.

The truth about Henry is that he blamed most of his misfortunes and other people and external circumstances, and most of the time those particular misfortunes were of his own making not something that "accidentally" came to him from some place out in the universe.

I never saw Henry again after our college graduation. He got a job with some firm in Chicago, but whether he ended up staying with the job, or getting let go for some strange reason... that I do not know.

But listening to the lecture at the conference today did remind me of how irritating it is to be around someone who always seems to need being bailed out of their problems!

Thanks for stopping by, and have a great week ahead!

How about you? Have you ever had a friend or family member whose life was ALWASY going wrong, in some way? Were they always looking for help, to get past their "temporary" setbacks? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

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Created at 2023.11.13 00:52 PST
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