The day I deleted Facebook

in WORLD OF XPILAR3 years ago

30th of October 2021. I wake up in the morning very early as usual around 6 a.m. Sometimes I feel fresh around 4 a.m. Anyway as soon as I open my eyes I smile. I am alive. I am quick to rise from my bed, say my prayers, meditate and follow my routine. Today is different. I washed my beautiful curly hair, I looked in the mirror at my lioness mane and I realized: I’m going to delete my personal Facebook.

You might ask yourself: but why? Why now? Why today?

In the last year my life was filled with all sorts of events. If you follow me on Hive you might be aware of some of them. If you don’t, do not worry, it is not relevant for you to know my life in order to understand this post. The idea is that I have grown significantly on a spiritual level, significantly meaning I just started to scratch the surface of my soul. My level of awareness increased after going through many painful experiences. I am sure that you will relate to this as pain can be the greatest catalyst for change. I am 31 years old and I started to think about my life and my choices more thoroughly this year. I had the time, the knowledge, the impulse. I looked at my own choices in the quest for self-understanding.

Random thought in my mind: have we all been putting on a show on social media?

Pause.

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I remember creating my Facebook account when everybody else already had one and somehow I felt I was missing out. The usual FOMO grabbed me by the neck and slowly suffocated a sense of individuality. The novelty weared off but still somehow watching other people’s lives can be addictive. I can understand very well now how many people would literally suffer if something would happen with their personal Facebook account. You can find a sense that you matter there. Or shall I say that you find your illusion ?

I remember posting on that platform when I was happy, I remember posting when I was sad. Only the happy posts went through, the sadness was swept under the rug. I rarely came across someone admitting they were sad in real life. Sad is not cool on Facebook, show us that filtered glam look! I have met people in reality who were miserable, unhappy, oozing a stench of hatred, arrogance and envy. On Facebook they had angel wings and they were spreading little hearts and hugs. If the Devil was to pick a platform this would be it as there is no easier place to fool and lure people into not being their true self.

Facebook and similar social media platforms are made to create a show for the masses. I think about the elders and those who made it through 50+ years of happy marriage. They used to have pictures taken and put in a physical album. They would keep this journal of love and show it to their closest friends, to those who they felt they deserved the access. You put a photo on Facebook and you have 3000 people possibly looking at the love of your life. How did we accept this as being ok? How sharing intimate photos and moments from your life with random strangers (who most likely don’t give a damn if you are happy or sad) has turned into a source of happiness?

I am a very discrete person. I like my privacy and I make friends quite slowly as I feel I need the time to get to know someone and let time test their character. I prefer quality over quantity. I do not have a big circle and I plan to keep it this way. I do not believe in staged shows, I believe in actions and in consequences. I do not believe in happy photos, I believe in real hugs and gestures of love.

Random thought: Did you hear about the Flintsones? They looked so happy together on Facebook, I can’t believe they got divorced and he hates her guts.

Pause.

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When it comes to a sense of belonging we are social creatures. We would do anything to belong to a group and to feel that we are included. Look at what is happening with this pandemic. People create sides and you must pick your shot if you want to have access. Literally. Divide and conquer is a classic scheme for manipulating big crowds. Social media makes no exception to the rule. I often wondered how many people from Facebook lists actually care about the soul of the people online. I am skeptical to believe that you can actually be friends with 5000 people. If this would be true then no one would commit suicide or feel depressed when so many friends are up for grabs. Let’s be real. Count your true friends now. Is one hand enough? Good, then this means that at least when you are alone you are not deluding yourself. Real close intimate friendships are rare. This is what makes them special. Your soul is not a piece of meat that you can throw around to hungry wolves in hopes they will hug it instead of shredding it to pieces. Looking back at my life and the way I interacted with this platform I realize this: real life is so much better and fulfilling and nothing of what happened on Facebook ever really mattered.

I think about the individuals who are stubborn enough to keep their ex-es in their lists just to feel a sense of importance. Often they miss out real life opportunities because they want to look cool on Facebook hiding the fact that they have failed in setting boundaries and closing the doors of the past. They feed with the crumbles they get from the people from their past. If you were to be sick tomorrow, how many of those people would come and feed you a bowl of damn soup? I think about the women who posted pictures with their husbands as if they were actually in love. I remember walking in those couple’s houses and feeling the tension in the air: the love was long gone , all they had was Facebook! I don’t think there is anything more sad than to feed yourself a sense of love from virtual photos rather than working on the real life relationship so you could actually have REAL love! I think about all the likes people throw back and forth just because they believe that if they don’t, they will be forgotten or ignored. A thumb up to define your place in a person’s life? Do we have so little to offer?

The idea is that few people realize the fakeness of the platform while using. Once you take the time to get off of it and maybe discover blockchain, then you realize the madness. Clinging to what was, no matter if it is about ex-es, family, lovers, versus what could be, is absolute craziness. But people do it because the past is so alluring. Getting out in real life and taking responsibility for your own happiness or misery is harder. I can imagine an utopic Universe where everybody sits in front of a screen and living their life there. Nothing goes in, nothing goes out. Zombies who numbed themselves until they can’t feel their own soul anymore.

Random thought: our picture received 200 hearts. Wow! I can’t believe that people think we actually love each other!

Pause

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Real life is tough and great in the same time. Managing it with ups and downs is not easy. A social platform like Facebook is an escape. You can pretend you are anybody there. You can pretend that you are happy, that you feel accomplished, that your family loves you and that you have an awesome time being yourself. When you turn it off, your soul knows how much bullshit you have spread. You sit with yourself and you have two choices: you decide to make some changes or you turn on Netflix and see what’s on. Since the discovery of Hive last year I have gradually lost interest in posting on Facebook. I no longer saw the purpose to share my personal life there only to get incentive for my ego. I can understand the use of Facebook for business but not for personal. Blockchain gives you rewards and you can talk with people who actually read your post. Facebook does none of that.

I wonder about the last time you or I had a real life hug from a person from Facebook. Think about this: when was the last time someone gave you a hug and they meant it? Is your mom or dad giving you little thumbs ups? Is your sister or brother eager to give you the first like? Good. How does this translate in real life? How much love are you receiving in real life from these people?

It’s ok to be sad now. We both know the answer.

I no longer want to be in a staged show with people who are not authentic with themselves. This includes me and everybody else I choose to give access to in my life. I know that most people who play it happy on Facebook are in fact sad. I know that many of those so called friendships are shallow and not fulfilling spiritually. I know that happiness is something we have to experience for real, not in the form of likes, thumbs up and hearts. I know that in times of distress a real hug, a kiss, a talk, a holding hand can do so much more than a fake post. I have discovered blockchain and there is no going back from there. I know that the friendships I have developed on Hive have a greater possibility of becoming real than what I have experienced on Facebook. I know that I must close the doors of the past in order to enjoy the present and welcome the future. I know that love is something that we feel and do, not something we should fake. I can sniff a person who is sad and pretending because I have been there, in that place of self-delusion. I can only wish more people to have a morning like mine: a morning when you woke up to your true self knowing that the best is yet to come.

Long-live blockchain and real-life hugs & love! They are the best!

Have a great day and toodle loo!

Sort:  

You have stated all facts about social media. Since I have been in the blockchain scene, you have also stated my experience which is, I discovered no one reads on the social media nor care and the case is different on this platform. I resonate with your story.

I am a social media manager and I know how it could be addictive, depressing and so on but I have been able to set limits which were not easy to develop but so far I am good.

Your article just helped to reaffirm my decisions about social media.
Thanks for sharing.

 3 years ago 

thanks for understanding friend

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