"One Picture And One Story".

In our society, women are primarily known for her sexuality and appearance. Their moral values, manners, education, and personality come after that.

It exaggerates when people specifically look women through the lense of marriage(a perfect wife and daughter In law).

Source

She should be tall and fair, has long hair and slim figure, shouldn't be more than 18 years old.

A family in my acquaintance was looking for a suitor for their daughter. She was 26 years old, younger daughter of her parents.

They looked for many proposals, all behaved well until a proposal came, which turned out to be her last. She got married with that boy, whose family humiliated her to their fullest.

The mother of the boy asked her to uncover her head and show her hair. That woman was fond of long hair, so she wanted to bring a daughter in law with long hair.

She also asked her to laugh so that she could see her teeth. Because the last girl they had seen, had teeth issues. They wanted everything to be perfect. So, they were behaving as if they're in animal market, looking for a buffalo to slaughter.

She kept on saying, i don't keep things in my heart, never mind, i say things directly on the face. I like your daughter, let's make it to a marriage hall.

Another incident was about another girl, who was skinny. Some people get body shammed due to being fat and others due to being skinny.

Not only her in-laws body shammed her but also her family, continuously belittled her.

Look at your weight, where is your chest, why you have no tummy fat, you look older than your age. Try to gain some weight or you'll like a mother in front of your husband. Unaware of the fact that she was suffering from diarrhoea for a month.

Some got rejected due to their dark skin tone. Everybody wants a wife looking like snow.

My Nani ammi told me about a girl who had fair skin and short height. When people came to see her, they asked her to take off the heels she was wearing in front of everyone, to check her height accurately.
They further asked her to remove her make-up, they thought she was wearing make-up to look fair.

^{It just boils my blood each time i hear such stories. Where have we headed?}

Age shamming is also a major factor while looking for a wife. Asking a girl's age in front of everyone has become normal now. An average girl gets married at the age of 24-25 after doing her master or mphil. If a girl exceeds this age limit, things become extremely difficult for her.

Going in family gatherings or on weddings is self torture, when you're not getting married due to any reason. People (especially women) won't let you live in peace at all.

One of my friends told me that, a suitor came for her relative's daughter. They asked her to make gol roti (round bread) in front of them. If she makes it, they'll take her as their son's wife.

Another one rejected a girl due to her face acne. She was the kind of girl who kept all her dreams to get fulfilled after wedding. She thought she would treat her acne on her wedding.

On getting rejected for the very first time, she abandoned all her dreams which she kept for her postwedding.

She decided to treat her acne first, not to impress others but to look good for her own self. She decided to persue her career before getting married to a toxic partner who would do anything to her, just because she would be financially bound to her.

^{I see woman around me getting slim, putting on weight, and taking skin care seriously to impress the society and to get married. They do it outta peer pressure. They leave all the self care once they get married. Because, now they have the label of got married, which no one can snatch from them.}

In the chaos of doing it to impress the society, I fall for people who do it for themselves. Who knows their worth and wouldn't let anyone shatter it.

Women who take their career and self care seriously are the women who would break down the chain of body and age shamming other women in future.

Things like height and skin colour can't be changed. Try to stop taking it on your nerves, instead embrace it with confidence.

You can only manage your ideal body weight, take care of your skin and hair. This will ultimately brings confidence in yourself.

You gotta stop hurting yourself on the brutal remarks of other (deep down you still will), and focus on the things to grow yourself.

If you get the chance to meet people, be kind, don't give remarks on the things they can't change.

Look for character in a person rather than their skin.

Inviting @nafeela @hudamalik20 and @neelofar