Social Psychology of Attraction

Many people tend to believe that attraction is only dependent on physical beauty. Well, to some extent, this may hold some vague truth but it can also be the bane of attraction. Some people may seem to attract people but if they interact, they will lose attraction because there are more to life than just physical beauty and we need to examine them so that we can set our priorities aright.

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A friend of mine once said "if beauty is the only thing you bring to the table, then you are not relevant at all". If you have only one minute to converse with someone, will you just focus on flaunting your beauty or will you be keen to making your first impression count? Now, we are not ruling off the need for physical appearance but let's take a look at how to compliment it to give you an edge.

1. Your availability and accessibility to people

This is one aspect that has suffered gross negligence in this era where people are forming "wokeness". Being available to people makes you more attractive. In simply terms, this means that "if you want to make friends, then you should make yourself friendly". Trust me, your attitude towards people have ways of influencing their perception and judgement about you.

A friend of mine once shared an experience about one of his crushes in college. In his exact words, "the lady had an abundance of ass and class". After a while of crushing from the sideline, he borrowed up some courage to approach her. Mehn! The first contact she made with her sent chills down his spine. He got a snub of his life but that was not just it. I mean, how will you explain someone with a mixture of nastiness, rudeness and a touch of over-inflated ego? The crush he had on her disappeared on the spot.

The question of availability covers many aspect. In relationship for example, there is what is called "emotional availability". That is, being sensitive to the emotional needs of your partner. Sometimes, they just need who to talk to and a listening ear, nothing else (not even sex), that is why someone may be physically present in a relationship but emotional unavailable. Being emotionally unavailable to your partner may make you become less attractive to them.

2. Your sense of humour and your smile

Your smile has a way of enhancing your beauty and it makes you more attractive. A particularly study was conducted and it was discovered that wearing a smiley face increases attractiveness. Just to buttress this point, we can have a little practical. Take a selfie of yourself when frowning and then take another selfie when smiling. Send both pictures to someone to make a choice of the best selfie, then you will understand the power of a smile.

Smiling is priceless, yet it is not bought with money. Putting up a smiley face and making others to smile (through your humour) should work hand-in-hand. People tend to naturally keep company with someone that has a cool sense of humour, not someone that is over-serious and straight-faced. The same way humour is contagious, sulkiness is also contagious. Believe me, many people are already passing through intense pressure and they won't want to get infected by someone's sulkiness, they'll rather be with someone that will lift their spirit through humour.

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The best way to know if you're attractive is to ask yourself if you will be comfortable to have someone like you (someone with the same attitude as you) as friend. Do not hide under the guise of "I'm being real and blunt" to treat people with nastiness, cos it will make you less attractive. The world has already gone way beyond looking at just the physical appearance, as it has been said "the beautiful ones ain't born". So you need to work on your personality, because that's what makes for real attraction.

Thanks for reading