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I had nothing to tell my friends whenever they would ask...I would just say getting eaten alive.

It sounds legit and thinking about a lion chewing your flesh...that has to be top on the list. But I don't live in a jungle or the wilderness as the old testament would say.

The other thing I would do is say that getting eaten alive was a metaphor for something else. Like the system of people...like I wouldn't want to work so much for the man that I forgot what it was like to work for myself.

Today I work for the system and it has eaten me up for some small change. There were things that people use to complain about doctors that I have rethought and I am a part of. Those people seem like sheep to me when they don't understand what I am explaining.

I have new fears

Getting eaten up is cute. I think my fears are real and simple now. Ever since I moved away from my family and friends to work...My fears have changed. I am over being eaten alive...MY BIGGEST FEAR IS NOW?

Drum roll, please!

I am scared of being alone.

What is sad about it is, I have only found out in this lonely place I am in where I don't even bump into family or friends.

No hey, long time no see.

The closest thing I have had to meeting family or friends are those people who studied in Uniport with me but I don't know how to gossip our lecturers, I don't even know their names...or they see my surname and know my siblings.

How it really is

I just ended things in a 6-month-old relationship...but so what, many people are living right under such circumstances, but it's devastating to me cause she use to be my support...

I feel meeting new people is the way to go...but it's not the same and making friends as grown adults. It seems silly to both people and they know it.

It is harder to play tricks on ourselves the way we did when we were younger adults or teenagers. Or it is hard for me to trick myself?

The conversation seems forced. I'd much rather be resting in my room than talking to you...then when I'm in my room the most paralyzing, depressing form of loneliness hits and I can't shake it off.

When I was in school someone would have walked into my room and started a conversation with me or if it's @topdollar001 he'd start trouble about the depressed me messing up our room. I miss that sick dog...

I want to face my fears

I turned off my DP on WhatsApp and I haven't posted a status in 24Hrs. I wanted to do this for such a long time. This morning I woke up and it has been so easy.

Airplane mode

This is the song I have been listening to for 24Hrs. I just want to be alone!!

I don't want to need people. Just be by myself...maybe I'll see someone walk right into my room the way they usually did back then. But I have to get out of people's faces virtually.

Thanks for visiting my headspace

PEACE!!