How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. Part IV: Wake up others to a vehement desire

Greetings friends of the community of Project Hope, on this occasion I want to summarize the first chapter of the book in which basically the main objective of the points addressed in this first chapter is to take the skills and decisions necessary to awaken in others a vehement desire, and thus be able to influence others and achieve the objectives we set.

In order to awaken a strong desire in other people we basically have to comply with the fundamental techniques for dealing with others that they are:

Don't criticize, don't condemn, don't complain

When we criticize we are submitting a judgment about another person, this instead of getting closer to being positively influential turns us more and more into a negative person, the one who criticizes is generally seen before society as a toxic and negative person, I think that many times when we criticize we alienate people from our environment and practically in many occasions we do not have enough morals to criticize.

Our Lord Jesus Christ said: "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone. This means that we all make mistakes, therefore it is unnecessary for us to criticize when many of our actions deserve to be criticized.

Condemnation is very subject to criticism, almost always when a person is criticized behind that criticism comes a condemnation, this situation is even worse than when we criticize, because when we condemn we are not giving a space of possible reconciliation between the parties involved in the future, condemnation leads to resentment, so the ability to be influential is completely lost, because where resentment exists there is rarely reconciliation.

When we complain we are carrying implicitly the impossibility of overcoming, this bad energy is quickly captured among other people in the same environment, which generates that people move away from the person who continuously lives complaining, instead of complaining, we must assume the failures as an element of learning and overcoming, that is, every time we go wrong in something we do, we do not complain, simply take that failure to learn from it and not make the same mistakes in the future.

Demonstrate honest and sincere appreciation

Having the ability and virtue to give love and affection to our neighbor, gives us the opportunity to be influential over other people, giving that appreciation so desired for others gives us a way for those people to come to us, and in this way we can be influential, However, if that appreciation is not honest and sincere in the end the result of being able to influence others may be in vain, the sincerity and honesty in what one person can offer to another sooner or later ends up knowing however simulated it may be, hence the importance of the appreciation being shown in truth.

Awakening in others an intense desire

I believe that this third quality is the result of carrying out the two previously explained, when the other people see in us that quality of not criticizing or judging and that we are enterprising, and that apart from that we show them appreciation in an honest and sincere way, at the same time we are stimulating in them that feeling of intense desire to undertake a motivating aptitude, in which the enthusiasm for wanting to achieve the proposed objectives can awaken that intense positive desire in all the people around. The ideal figure who must work to achieve these three aptitudes already explained without a doubt is the leader, even the conceptualization of leadership brings implicit that capacity to influence other people positively.

I hope that this short summary has served to raise morale and make us aware of our motivational capabilities, greetings and even a next delivery.

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