In Retrospect

I've been doing lots of thinking lately. My mind is constantly at war with self and a disgusting system that was built to stand against its people. This is a place where lives are undervalued, priorities misplaced, with incompetencies even more pronounced. And what's worse? that corrupt officials suddenly rose to the occasion to fight corruption within the system? It's laughable! Remember, "he who comes into equity must come with clean hands".

Unaccountability flies by day and lame excuses fly at night, and that's even whenever they feel the need to. When there is a sudden pressure from international communities for answers to agitations that has somehow crossed these very borders of our supposed great Nation into their shores. No day goes by without my intelligence feeling insulted, and I wondered, so these are the very best we could come up with from a population of over 200 million? These same people that have somehow managed to assume government positions are desperate now more than ever as they feel threatened by our voices that refuse to be silent to the irregularities and wrongdoings in our society.

The one thing they have a reputation of being prompt at is "responding to problems that offer a massive lining to their pockets". They are more like blood-sucking parasites. The wrong mentality of having the mass constantly subdued and poverty weaponized, this we see during every period of elections. The Elect- these are the very people that have risen from among us, but are now against us.

This place suddenly knows no shame. It's a pity that the values we once uphold dearly are being ripped apart bit by bit. Honesty now goes unrewarded. And with corruption celebrated, scams and falsehoods are vehemently on the rise, this, in particular, is like a plague that has infested the younger generations. The supposed "leaders of tomorrow" are now turned into thugs to do the political bidding of those in power. Shame! it's a shame that this place knows no shame.

I'm sorry because I am about to sound like a negativist. But I see no hope, I mean we keep plunging down and down, further into our destruction. It offers a lot of comforts knowing where we went wrong, but all the same, so much discomfort knowing there's nothing you can do about it. They've taken almost everything from us, and have given nothing back in return. Maybe there's still a glimmer of hope somewhere, that we might still have a chance to right our wrongs. But again, that's a maybe. Nothing is certain. We currently have a voice but that might soon change as we are beginning to experience a shift from being under a democratic government to being under an authoritarian government. All because of their greed, they suddenly want us completely silent.

I suddenly feel I'm becoming alienated from the very place I had my childhood, the one place I grew up as a kid. It's messed up. Being a kid or an adult in this place is pretty messed up for the commoners and the grieving masses. I recently decided to be intentional about lots of things; I decided to not think about this place for now because it's easy falling into depression than out of it. I decided to not force anything that's not worth it, most especially when it comes to relationships. If they don't want me, it's fine. And if they do eventually, it's also fine. I decided to help as many as I can because trying to make something out of or for yourself while being of upright character is harder than most think. If the government has made life difficult for its citizen, must we make it more difficult for ourselves? Absolutely no! We should take care of one another often because we are all we've got.

Lastly, I decided to focus on self-development. I believe this is where the ultimate prize is to be paid. I will develop myself by building my competencies in things that matter, only then can I influence a change in this place. What this place suffers from mostly are incompetencies and greed. And there's only little one can do from the outside. We can do so much from the inside. However, when the opportunity presents itself, are we going to be ready. Are we going to follow this detestful trend or are we going to forge our path to create the change we want in the system?

I did a bit of self-reflection today, and I only got reminded how messed up survival can be. I recently went broke. I mean, I was penniless and at the same time, got desperate. I needed to renew my subscription so I can be back online doing the things I love. So, I tried reaching out to a couple of friends for help but couldn't bring myself to. I did reach out to a few but they couldn't do much, and I know it hurts them badly knowing they could not be of help at the moment. I get it. I understand. It's not them because they are a hard-working bunch. It's this place I blame where efforts often go unrewarded. Where the system built is against the progress of commoners.

I will keep trying. I will play my part but strictly on my terms. This has to change. Things have to change. We have to change. And maybe this place too!