Man Up

What would you do to protect your family?

I find this an interesting question as those I have asked have nearly always responded along the lines of physical threats, violence and abuse - where they state they would kill. But, what about all of the other threats to the family, such as access to education and services, environmental degradation, social restriction and economic enslavement? In my opinion, it is fantastic to be prepared for acute violence, however the things that likely do the most harm are not acute, they are chronic and systematic and more often than not, we ourselves play a part in them.

Take health for example. While many parents are trying to currently protect their families from the affects of Covid-19, those same people do not necessarily concern themselves with the daily implications of poor diet or children living a sedentary lifestyle. While many are reading about and are worried about the collapse of the global economy, fewer seem to be working out practical ways to support themselves long-term.

The immediacy of acute pain draws the attention into the moment, but that is luckily not where most of us live daily and it is the recurring pains that affect and direct our lives. For example, as my wife and I are currently working remotely and our three year-old daughter is not at daycare, we have to entertain her simultaneously. While she has known that we have gone to work, she hasn't really seen us working to the point that we do not have the time to spend playing on the floor with her.

While this is an exceptional circumstance for us, this could be the normal position for some families and it could have a long-ranging affect on the outcomes of a life. While I do not know the outcomes, my intuition tells me that with all other things remaining equal, this would change the course of direction and even slightly from a young age, can mean a long distance in the future. This is the same with a poor diet for example, where an individual meal does very little benefit or damage, but consistency either way will change outcomes significantly.

The way we are programmed though is to focus on the immediate threats and weigh the ones that generate the most fear higher. This can be seen for example where there are many who are scared of flying due to the risk of a crash, but don't mind driving where there is a great deal more accidents that occur - or the threats of the home. In general, we aren't very good threat detectors and our ability degrades very fast the further out the timeline stretches.

This is also why most of us are not very good long-term investors, as just like the threats of a bad diet to our health, the benefits of a long position are incremental and very difficult to calculate once there are complex factors like compounding interest to contend with. Instead, it is much easier to buy now and have the mental position that one purchase is easy to make up for later. But, once this is a habit, the second purchase and the third become easier decisions to make - in the same way that sugary food can become a habitual process and incrementally the body condition worsens.

Incremental degradation and improvement are just that, incremental. There is no overnight road to death or success under normal conditions, unless an acute factor comes in to play a role, like winning the lottery or ingesting arsenic. But, small, incremental movements are hard to identify and pay attention to and even harder to be aware of long-term.

Essentially, the way to do this is to create habits that factor them in for a set and forget process that doesn't require constant monitoring or a new buy-in decision each time. Things like savings plans that take a percentage out automatically, exercise routines that give time and space consistently and meal preparations that are majority good, with enough junk to satisfy cravings. Setting these kinds of things up intentionally is preparation for a better future, or an easy position under stress, as the resources will increase and the habits will be able to be adjusted to factor in something like lockdown due to pandemics.

I find it interesting when I watch people talk about carrying guns for protection, when the most likely way most of those people are going to die is through cancer and heart disease. Protection comes in many forms and probably the most important factor for the safety of children is the information and practice required to make smart decisions under a range of conditions.

Some of this will of course protect against the potential times for acute violence, but most of it will be so that there is a consistent approach to the daily grind, so perhaps, it is less of a grind and is instead more of a life.

I am assuming that my daughter is going to outlive me by a long way and I am expecting that she will have to make daily decisions that are going to guide her through her life, which will bring outcomes and consequences that she will have to deal with. Much of life is unpredictable, but that doesn't mean we can't prepare for how we will react in uncertainty and in general, those with the personal resources will behave better than those without.

I see that the protection of my family in my daily routine through my work and interaction, including things like the money I make and how I utilize it, to the hugs I give and the stories I tell my daughter at bedtime. In my opinion, being a parent demands attention and effort applied to be a provider and that goes above and beyond just putting a roof over the heads of the family and food on the table. However, that can be a struggle in and of itself, but I am hoping that the struggle is more acute than chronic, a learning experience, rather than a way of life.

Greatness isn't made in moments, it is incrementally earned - recognized or not.

Taraz
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