Mehn, some ladies are skilled in shooting shots!

I went to buy Akara for Pap this morning, when this auntie, upon sighting my weak self, practically bought the whole Akara and Potatoes for herself at the price of 2650.
It was the last of the seller's merchandise.

I was so angry, and every other person I was hissing, but the seller didn't care -- she was actually there to sell everything, and if someone was to immediately relieve her of the stress, the chances of considering others were slim.
"Just pack it well for me and my boo," she said, pointing at me.

I was shy and almost drawing circles with my leg, and the few people around were observing in amazement, wondering why I was hissing with them. At the same time, they were waiting for the woman's son who had gone home to see if he could get yam or potatoes for frying.

Auntie strutted towards me from the other end, after which she felt my temperature with her palm and these words:
"I'm your neighbor's sister, and he said you've not been well since you came back on friday -- your body is hot."
Surprised and scared, since it was my first time of seeing her, I didn't know what to say. Before I could say anything, she gently grabbed my hands in the open, and went on with her lines:

"You were playing one song about 'Cecilia' before you travelled, and I told my brother you were my type --I love your voice and the way you played that song with your guitar. I was hearing it from our room. My brother said you don't come out often, and that you're stubborn."

I guessed she was talking about "Cecilia" by Simon and Garfunkel.
She smiled for a while and continued.

"But I told him I must talk with you today. So, is the water ready, or do you need help boiling it for pap? "
"But..."

"Don't but me anything young man -- you're going home with me. I told my brother to boil water for you so I'll make pap. We have Milk and other things. My brother said you starve yourself these days, and this one you just regained appetite, you'll probably like something light. My boo cannot be craving common pap and I'm just here doing nothing."
Auntie didn't allow me to say anything, and I don't know who informed Charlie Parker of my predicament. He just appeared from nowhere and shouted "nne gbado ya there -- December a g'adi egwu!(Nne hold him there -- this December will be good!)"

Mr Charles sef. Mtshew.
Some people were laughing as she gently and stylishly dragged me home, while apologizing for buying everything.
Brethren, I am having a wonderful breakfast in their apartment as I type this. Charlie Parker said he will break my head if I open my mouth to say "time will tell," and the way I am seeing this fine auntie, she is not giving up at all.
Eddie, why not calm down and allow somebody try kwanu?

Stop being afraid.
Eddie, surely, it would be nice to share your own wedding card with a motivational speech that begins this way:
"It all started with buying me Akara and Potatoe."