DON'T PUT OFF LIVING

So, you can consider this write up one of the early week write ups that I sincerely believe will help you live better if you implement the few things I'll share.

I understand life has been tough for most of us, to others, you've been living your best moments and that's totally fine.
But I want to narrow to this write up to a particular set of people. To you that has big dreams, great expectations from life, great feats to attend and most especially to you that has focused 100% of your time, energy and resources to get these things achieved.

If you were like me a couple of months back, I'd say I use to put off being happy. To be more specific, I mean tying my happiness to future achievements.

You'd hear me say things like "when I have this, I'd do this," "when I finally do this, happiness will come." And then I do these things and I realize that the happiness I thought would last for long is just temporary and to feel better, I'd have to attach it to something else.

This went on for years, mostly this year but I decided to reflect on my life and be honest with myself. I didn't get the happiness I planned in the future and I wasn't happy in the present either, so literally I'd feel empty a lot of times searching for the true meaning of life you might want to laugh here.

Honestly, I began to ask deep questions, read more books, talk to people and I realized I was merely existing, not living. Like I existed for freaking 22 years thinking I was living.

But for the past two months, I altered my thinking and it changed my life. I began to live every single moment, whether things well going well or not, I'd be happy. This change in thinking caused me to value life more, do the things I can and when I can't, I mueeeve (present tense).

It taught me to value people more(obviously the ones that value me too) I sincerely do not have the energy to chase what's lost or not lost when it comes to human beings, I learned to handle rejection better. I have learned to handle love better. A couple of weeks I dreaded being rejected by people but now? Next please.

To crown it all, I began to worry less. Not to brag but I'd tell you that when it came to thinking of the past, present and future, I was good. Just bring your problems of life and I'd think about them for you, I was even thinking of starting a side business with my thinking prowess but like someone who walked to the end of the tunnel and encountered the light, that light opened me to a lot of truths I ran away from. Why would I think of my past mistakes, like why??????? The past?? Never again.

I mean it's ok to worry a bit about your present and take a stroll in your future once in a while but definitely not the past. You can learn from them and not dwell on them.

I used to worry about things like: What if I don't be a good spouse, wife and mother? And then I'd freak out, what if my spouse doesn't love me enough? I would go to God's word but lately I realized God's word was the problem, I was. Too much thinking created a room in my mind and without failing, my mind made up stuffs that wouldn't even happen.
I had to sit down and talk to myself. Me and an unloving spouse??? No way. I'm saying this with a full level of confidence. I'll be an amazing wife and mother and I know it. It took me months to come with peace with myself.

Then to my career, for months now I have been writing for money and not writing as an art I love. I put away the art till when I make enough money but each day I realize money is volatile and I have accepted that I might not really make the kind of money I want and I'm cool with that.(It was a struggle to accept) and that is why I have decided to explore the art. If you begin to find my writing weird, well, that's on you because someone is gonna be living her best life and writing without holding back (Mark's accepted way and words though).

I shared my story first, so you can get my point. I'm not saying be pessimistic or do not have expectations but what metric are you using to measure your happiness? For me it was mainly material stuffs, not like I do not want them, I do but if I do not have them, I'd still be happy.

See, your life is not complicated as you think, your thoughts and mind make them appear so.
If all you can do is drink water, please do so and be genuinely happy. Try not to measure your life with another person and say things like "I can only be happy when I have what the other person has or out- succeed him or her, in the end you realize you lived a wasted life and there's no time machine, Hollywood sold that well and most of us bought it, I did actually.

I know you won't like this question but I'll ask anywhere. What if you die tomorrow? God forbid right but what if? I know you are saying you can't die bla bla bla, you have not discovered purpose and all but what if you do?
See, everyone is meant to die, personally I cannot guarantee you of long life but I can guarantee death with my full chest.

It was the moment I answered this question days back that I made up my mind about a lot of things.
I'd love you to think of how you'd feel on the other side(I mean the side where we have ghosts in white and all) Just kidding but think of it.

Would you love to die as someone who procrastinated living and merely existed?
Would you love to die as someone who believed everyone is just a scammer, scamming you of love, money, and every other thing?(these set of people need healing and genuine love, that's if their inability to trust will not send everyone away).

Would you love to die as someone with a shitty relationship with your parents, friends, spouse and people around you? Maybe, they'll hire a mourner to stand at your grave.

Would you love to die thinking Jesus Christ is not real?(Maybe on the other side you will find out the hard way and there's a promise that comes with the hard way ).

Would you love to die without fulfilling purpose? Not knowing why you truly lived? (No, this isn't good).
The questions on this list are endless, there's a saying that says "unf**k thyself" and I'm adding "uncomplicate your life." You need to. See, life isn't really what you think it is, it could be more or less depending on what you choose to see and make out of it.

Ask your self tough questions, answer them honestly and please live every moment of your life. Why would you put off your happiness till you buy a car when you can be happy now or should I.....? Never mind.

Why do you put off your happiness till you are married when you can be happy now or haven't you heard that marriage has its ups and downs? What if you get married but realize you still do not feel happy, will you marry another? Just asking.

Why not enjoy the beginning of your business now and be genuinely happy for growing something than waiting till you get on the cover magazine of Forbes? What if you get to the top of the totem pole and you realize there's really nothing exciting about being up there. Worst of all, you no longer have time to do things like you did when you just began and you sulk in regrets for the rest of your long life.

If you are reading this, I need you to take time and breath. Inhale and exhale and look around yourself, maybe there is no rat race, your mind could have made it up the same way it tells you are a failure for not meeting your goals.
Oh please you ain't if you were, what would you say of the lady that authored a work book on how to set and smash goals but couldn't meet up hers? Ultimate failure? Well, I'm still breathing and I have accepted to tell myself the hard truths.

You see what I'm sharing? It might take you years to free yourself from yourself made prison, at worst, you might not but if you read to this point, you need to do something about the kind and pattern of life you are living.

Set priorities and stick to them, do things unafraid, improve your life as a whole. Ask yourself, would I die happy with the kind of life I'm living if I died tomorrow, next week or next year? Then I'd leave the rest to you.

Last but not the least, do not tie your happiness to people. See people change! Oh yes they do. I got a subtle shock this year. Do. not! I repeat do. not tie your happiness to people. They will disappoint with a sprinkle of madness and you'll still have to go on. If you should, do so with wisdom. But make sure they are WORTH it, I do not know how you plan to measure your worth but make sure they are worth it.

I hope this really helps you.