To Carry You is My Dream

After my second sister gave birth to my very first niece. There's good news again. Our eldest sister is pregnant! The whole family was ecstatic. We have new members of the family.
We were blessed again, not just one but two. Yes, they are twins.

I was so happy when I heard that, so I went to the mall and bought two cakes for my two nephews. We celebrated a little for wonderful blessing.

After a few months, I had to attend Pioneer Service School. It was only a week. That was on September 10, 2018, I was happy because it was the first day of class. When I arrived at our lodgings, I happily called my mom, to tell her that my first day of class was successful.
But when my mom answered that, she was crying. I said, why?

Suddenly I was nervous.

She called my name while crying ... La.. (squeaky voice). Your sister has given birth, the other baby has died.*

Suddenly tears dripped in my eyes. My tears did not stop flowing.

I didn't mention a single word, I was just crying holding my phone.
Is this true? Is this really happening? I pinched myself and realized that it's real.
When I calmed down. I asked. How's ate(sister)? How's the other baby?

I wanted to hug my sister, and mom tightly, but I couldn't do anything because I was far away from them.

I pretended to be okay attending the second day of my class.

I wish it was just a nightmare. On the third day of our class, I had a part, a demonstration, and I did it successfully.
I temporarily forgot my sadness, but still hard to smile.

When I arrived at our accommodation. My second sister called me.
She said I didn't want to tell you this so that you wouldn't be destructed in your class, but it really hurts, and her voice trembled and slowly said that our other nephew has died.

The second time, tears welled up in my eyes. I was just crying, thinking about how is our eldest sister, she didn't even know that her other baby had died.
I can't express the pain I feel, no words can describe it. I was just in the corner crying and praying because I knew that God knew how I felt.

I hope I'm there, I hope I can even see my twin nephews, I hope I can even touch them, I hope I can carry them, I hope I'm there to hug my sister.

I wanted to go home, but unfortunately, Baguio was wrecked by the devastating typhoon Ompong, the road was damaged, and we couldn't go home, some parts had landslides. Just like in the backyard of our accomodations. I remember, it was midnight when our classmates went outside to remove the soil that fell down and bumped on the wall, they kept on shoveling. We were just inside assisting them, they just told us to remain inside and get what they need. It seems like I was still out of my mind at that time. We're in dangerous situation but still thinking of my family. It was raining cats and dogs outside and it was raining inside my heart as well.
So all I could do was pray, pray for our situation and pray for my sister.

I have experienced many things in life, being scolded by a teacher, being falsely accused, being bullied at school, witnessing an accident, and chaos but the most painful is the loss of a loved one.

(Sorry no picture to show, because my old phone was broken, and my twin nephews were premature babies, I just wanted to keep their pictures in private. Writing while crying, but sending love to all of you. I'm holding the hope in the future that I can see my twin nephews in the Paradise. I'm always their tita and they're always be our babies. We love them and they will remain in our heart forever.)

I'm inviting @iyanpol12, @lyann and @el-dee-are-es to write your own story also.