The Diary Game Season 3 (09-26-2021) | How's the Full Time Mom Doing So Far? | 20% to SteemitPHCurator

When I become a mother, I realized, I wasn't ready for anything. On our first night together with my baby and he started crying, I was awakened to the truth that I was not fully ready, thank God my husband was with me. I wonder how single moms carried through without a partner during their sleepless nights as new parents. Perhaps they got support coming from their parents and so on but it's just different when it's your husband or the father of your child who's with you.

I gave birth in the middle of the pandemic, July 25, 2020. My last day of work was on that Friday, it was supposed to be a regular check-up at the OB's clinic but I ended up admitted to the hospital that day on the 24th. I didn't feel any pain until my waterbag broke which was broken purposely by the resident doctor who didn't even say anything while clipping that huge scissor she inserted, oh, I could remember how I felt drenched after she did that! The water was all over my bed but they cleaned me up so that's okay.

My mind was focused on my breathing. According to the growing baby class that I had attended months before the due date, I have to have a focal point and just bear in mind that this pain has a purpose and it will be worth it. That mindset worked! I never cried but I did punch the wall whenever contractions come during the active labor which happened around seven in the morning.

I don't want to remember the rest as the memories discourage me to have another baby. Fast forward today, my baby is already 14 months old.

A lot of things had changed, I had learned a lot as well from bathing the baby which by the way was a very delicate thing. I didn't know if I was doing it right. No one was with us, my parents can't come to Cebu because of the pandemic, and my mother-in-law was restricted due to the travel protocols. But again, my husband was there all along, he had been there to prepare the water, get everything ready so I can just go directly and bathe Matti. Today, Matti walks to the washroom by himself, sits on the bathtub and I don't have to carry him anymore.

Breastfeeding was what I had chosen ever since so I never bothered buying milk bottles and other paraphernalia for formula feeding. But I never thought it would be a toe-curling experience! It was so painful especially the first few weeks. I even felt scared whenever its time for feeding!

Today, Matti asks for "dede" and he knows how to open my blouse to get access to my breast. He would point at it and say it's dede and milk. He is already expert in finding the best position for him to drink, it's a huge difference compared to his first few days at the breast. I don't feel any pain except when he tries to bite it or move his body away without unlatching.

Entertaining Matti before was more of dancing and singing, mostly done so he could sleep too. I remember being tired and I felt like I won't be able to carry him anymore yet today, he can entertain himself alone. He can play by himself and would even close his playpen by himself. There are so many things that he can do by himself and I am one proud mama.

Oh time flies so fast. It's just a year, the once inexperienced first-time mom has learned a lot of things in just a short time. But what's more surprising is how fast a baby can grow and discover the world by himself. In just a year, these things had evolved and I am not ready for the upcoming things.

In fact, I guess, no one is really ready at all. Motherhood is a learning process and it will forever be like that even if the child gets older, we as mothers will continue to be open for learning, in communicating with them, and to always pray for them. My prayer is that I would be able to witness more of his milestones, to be there whenever he needed me, and to be his number one confidant and fan.

I processed all these thoughts while Matti and I were at the second-floor veranda, watching the sun as it gave us a golden tint and beautiful rays of hope and grace. I am truly thankful for this life and to be a mother to my child, every day means a new chance of being with him, to be able to take care of him, and provide for his needs.

Thank you for reading this article! Motherhood comes with a lot of emotions indeed.

Inviting my friends to join the diary game too @g10a @jjeeppeerrxx @gecellbeltran