My Most Unforgettable Heartbreak

High And Low Waters - I, Being A Kidney Donor

As an optimistic and jolly person and regard challenges as a learning process in my journey of life, I solve problems without beating around the bush. I was unprepared for the turn of events in my life when all kinds of trials cropped up in 1999 and I was pregnant. I resigned from my job, my youngest brother was ill and he was on dialysis three times a week. Pregnant as I was, I am compelled to extend my arms to my family for my brother's medical expenses by seeking donors and sponsors from our relatives, friends, politicians, and even people that have no relations with us. Stressful as it is, I have to do my fair share as a family member as no one else can support my mother for my two brothers has also a family of their own though they also help my mother financially to support my youngest brother's medical needs and also to augment our basic needs.

Five months after I gave birth to my son CJ (my disabled son), my brother Ric asked me if I can be his possible kidney donor. I said why not if our blood type and tissues match. His doctor scheduled us for a series of tests and VOILA! we were 99% matched! So after the tests, we were then scheduled for a KIDNEY TRANSPLANT. It was successful but God had other plans for him. After six (6) months of recovery, he had a pulmonary infection and that caused his death. It was so painful for the family but then life has to go on.

First Challenge: My Son Was Premature

Due to stress, my youngest son CJ, came out of this world unexpectedly at seven (7) months, a premature baby. He was incubated and his life was at stake when he got sepsis (an infection of the blood). During the time that he was incubated, blood was seen in his tiny mouth as he spewed up. and his color turned to ash. As he was given first aid, I turned my back, sat on the floor, and cried silently, and utter a prayer telling God that if CJ is not meant for me, "I AM LETTING HIM GO". Right after reciting my plea to God, I heard CJ cry! I looked back and seen my baby's face turned to pink as he was whimpering out loud, the doctor patted my back and pronounced "He is God's gift to you. He is a fighter and a survivor!" I sobbed, carried him, and hug. He is so tiny and weighed 1.5 pounds just like the size of a 1.5-liter coca-cola. I personally take care of him and I always bring him to his pediatrician as scheduled.

Second Challenge: My Son Was Diagnosed To Have Cerebral Palsy

I was puzzled over his development when he was four (4) months old when he should know how to open and close his hand, instead his fingers are bent in toward the palm and held there tightly a clenched fist. I informed his pediatrician about it and recommended a doctor in Child Development Medicine. My jaw was dropped open when CJ was diagnosed to have Quadriplegic Cerebral Palsy. He required me to bring CJ to him every two (2) months to monitor his development. I followed his advice and then he recommended my son's Physical and Occupational Therapy. He had several sessions but due to financial constraints, the therapy stopped for so many years.

Third Challenge: My Son Was Diagnosed To Have Epilepsy

When he was 11 yrs. old, I rushed him to the Hospital's Emergency Room as he has difficulty breathing and his whole body was so stiff and his face turned pale. He was admitted and stayed for a week as he was being monitored. His Pediatrician introduced me to a Neuro-Pediatric Doctor. He asked me about my son's medical history and was recommended to have an Electroencephalography Laboratory Test. He told me that my son has Epileptic Cerebral Palsy. My world was shattered for the nth time!

Being a mom is simple but it's not easy. I do appreciate every mom in the world. Mom's are the real wonder woman. A mother comprises of a bundle of emotions that sometimes defy reason and frequently refer to the use of common sense and intuition in raising children—no special knowledge is required and many of these practices are grounded in some biological instinct. Being a mom is a multi-tasking role. Some of us succeeded, only a few mothers failed because in the first place they never wanted to be one!

Disability is not a problem. It is a challenge. A supportive family will make it easy for everyone especially the person who is affected by it. A disabled person needs deep understanding, unconditional love, and unending patience. It breaks my heart to see him that way, so fragile and helpless. Every day is a sacrifice with new things and new lessons to learn which is a continuous process. Learning how to handle his tantrums, his ability to deliver what he wants and what not. It is like a gray day with intermittent bursts of sunshine, and these occasional breaks in the cloud are what I try to focus on.

Well, as I have said God assigned me these tasks as my vocation, and with His help I know I can overcome every trial that comes my way! God is good all the time He will not forsake me. To tell you, He even provided some people to help me, especially on spiritual and financial matters. For that, I am so grateful not just for this year 2020 but through the years!

Find beauty in living the questions. For it is the quest of the heart that will lead you to seek God for answers. He always answers, you just need to listen up. Gradually, without even noticing it, you are already living your way into the answers. You will find the purpose
and the meaning of your life.

Patience and Love are the greatest assets I have for a happy and healthy living. This is a true victory which only comes from knowing GOD intimately.

Life is great, but life is even better once you have been blessed to become a mom.