Hello, Steemit!
Hello, Steemit Philippines!

I am here again to share my Wedding Journey. I have shared already how my wedding proposal went, and recently shared also about meeting our wedding coordinator. Today, I will be sharing my “pamamanhikan story”. This post is also my entry and participation to the photography contest in our community - Steemit Philippines.

I also want to encourage my friends @jenesa, @grasyaa and @rye123 to join this contest.

Pamamanhikan

08.28.2021

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Pamamanhikan is one of the beautiful Filipino Culture that is still existent today. It is when a man brings his parents to the woman’s house to formally ask the hand of the woman from her parents. There will be a presiding officer who will take charge of the discussion. They will discuss important matters such as the schedule of the wedding, where the couple will live, where is the wedding reception, and others. After the wedding and marriage discussions, they will eat dinner together which is brought and prepared by the man’s family.

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A week after my wedding proposal, Grace and I discussed also when will be my Pamamanhikan or Pamalay in bisaya. At first, I really felt anxious about it because it is very traditional and old, in other words, it is very cringey! But, I do not have any choice, it should be done any time soon! So, I started planning and preparing about it.

Research About Pamamanhikan

First, I googled what is Pamamanhikan. I needed to know and understand why it is done and why it is important. I also needed to learn how it should be done and who are involved in it. I also watched youtube videos about it to grasp additional information.

Planning and Preparations

Secondly, after getting adequate information about Pamamanhikan, I started planning about it. Here are the things that I did:

1. I picked a date for the Pamamanhikan and got approval from my girlfriend about the schedule.
2. I selected and got the approval of a presiding officer who will take charge of the discussion.
3. I informed my family, and selected cousins about it and invited them to come with me. I only contacted 12 people, since we are in a pandemic.
4. I discussed with my girlfriend the foods that we would bring that evening. But we decided to order a food package for less hassle on our part. The food will also be delivered in my girlfriend’s place.
5. I contacted a catering business and ordered a food package to be delivered on a specified date.

During the Pamamanhikan

My family and relative arrived in my girlfriends place around 5PM because pamamanhikan is usually done during the evening. I brought with me my mother, my siblings and some of my closest cousins.

We were warmly welcomed in the house of my girlfriend. I then introduced my family and relatives to the parents and relatives of my girlfriend, and vice versa. We sat down.

After a minute or two, the presider who is also my cousin, started talking. As far as I can remember she started with this line:

Maayong Hapon, kanatong tanan. Kami anaa karon kay sa akong nahibaw-an, nagkasabot na si Grace ug Christian nga magminyo. Sila dagko na, aduna nay mga trabaho, ug naghinigugmaay, busa angayan ra gayod nga sila atong tugutan nga magpakasal.

or
Good afternoon, to all. We are here today because as far as I know, Grace and Christian have decided to get married. They are already in the right age, they already have stable jobs, and they love each other. Therefore, it is just proper to give them the permission to get married.

After that, the parents of Grace responded positively. They agreed and told everyone, that they will support us in our marriage. I personally cannot avoid to smile after hearing that response from Grace’s family because I heard their confidence and support for the two of us.

Other matters were also discussed such as the following:

1. Date of the Wedding. Grace and I told them that we want our wedding to be on April or May. But, we asked if the grandmother of Grace is okay with it because she is very traditional. In fact, she asked Grace’s sister to get her book which has a list of months and dates that is good or bad for marriage, business, or building a house. We decided our wedding to be on April 30, 2022.
2. Wedding Reception and Church. Grace and I decided to hold our wedding in the parish where we usually go and attend. We also informed both family that we already have a wedding coordinator and a wedding package, but the wedding details including the wedding reception is not discussed yet.
3. Place of Residence. We told them that we will temporarily live in our house until we can build our own home. We told them that we already are paying for a subdivision lot that started last year already.
4. In Case of Conflict. Both family also gave us advices and their wisdom if Grace and I will encounter a problem in our marriage. Grace and I just listened to them.

After that heart-pumping discussion, we had our dinner that I ordered from a catering business. I only ordered a small package because this is just a small gathering only.

Reflections

Pamamanhikan is a good and beautiful culture in the Philippines. It is a starting point for couples who plans to get married to join both family in a formal and simple yet heartwarming gathering. This should continue forever because it has good intentions and purpose.

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Thank you so much for dropping by to my blog. See you on my next post! Bye-bye!

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