Learn with Steem : Psychology behind Emotional Aggression & Peace hacks.

Hello dear friends, I hope you are all fine. Today I am gonna discuss a very important topic related to human psychology and that's retaliatory aggressive behaviour control based on scientific studies and experience of people in this regard. In the first part of this lecture, I'll discuss the causes of emotional aggression and in the second part, I'll discuss some remedial measures to control reactionary aggression.

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Why do we show emotional aggression?

In this section, I'll highlight some real-life examples to emphasize the causes of our aggressive behaviour in retaliation. It is commonly said that, to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction and there is another saying, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. If we interpret the sayings in similar contexts then these are contradictory. However, they have been spoken in different contexts.

As I am concerned about reactionary emotional aggression in the form of anger etc, it is almost normal and justifiable for anyone to show anger in response to someone's bad behaviour. But can't we develop our personality in such a way that we don't show anger in response to anger, instead we show love? Yes, that's possible that will be discussed later on. Let's focus on some factors that cause aggression or disturb our internal peace . Trust me, I am not going to make it bookish.

Upbringing within a comfort zone

Studies have shown that individuals who are over-pampered during their childhood are liable to show emotional aggression more easily in later phases of life. When such individuals come across some adversities in life, they expect a motherly love in adversities too and when that's not met, they become angry. So the point is that such over-pampered individuals have low endurance and a low threshold for emotional aggression.

Such over-pampered individuals expect to remain within their comfort zone everywhere like at the workplace, in the market etc. On meeting any adversity, there is no one to pamper and as result, they show aggression.

Over Possession

At times people are over possessive about their materialistic belongings that any damage to them causes them to lose their temper and display disproportionate anger. For example, people resort to abusive language when their car, motorcycle etc even suffer scratches or dents by someone's mistake. We can seek compensation without emotional aggression or we can take the help of the law if needed.

Jealousy

Let's begin by definition of jealous from the web and that goes as feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages. People with such a mentality perceive the achievements of others as their failures and disturb their inner peace even without being provoked.

Derrangeed Value System

We have recently seen a dramatic change in the value system perceived by people. You might have heard your parents respecting or getting respected on the basis of virtues like honesty, truthfulness, hard work, dedication, steadfastness etc. In other words, we can see that based on the above-mentioned virtues people were looked at in society. I hope you didn't fact that nowadays people have become more materialistic and prioritise materialistic things over the above-mentioned qualities. For example, if we are in an office dealing with the public for any purpose, we tend to be more conscious and decent while interacting with people who put on branded clothes and other accessories than those who don't possess these things. So we value materialism and expect the same in return.

Similarly, we expect people to respect and be subdued to us on the basis of the worldly possession like profession, luxurious cars etc. For example, a HOD of department on entering room expect all to stand and greet him just because he is HOD. If anyone doesn't stand up, he is banged and liable to face HODs wrath for hurting his ego. So we have to show respect whether he deserves or not.

How to avoid emotional aggression.

Reflective Practices

It is a system wherein an individual assess himself by throwing himself in a flashback and recalling the activities that have taken place during the day and also assess his response to these actions and ask questions to himself about the validity of the response. To simplify, we should spend 15 mins each day on assessing what we have done during the day and then ask our selves whether our response was right or wrong and then try to continue with the right responses and replace the wrong ones with the right response. Such a 15 min practice has shown good rests in real life.

Don't go into words

We often display emotional aggression in retaliation to some action like abusive language by someone because we take the words thrown at us by someone in aggression seriously. For example, if someone tells us that, I'll beat you. Our ego is hurt by the word beat. We begin to think about the rude word that was used. We think of the reality and practical consequence of that word. In the above case, we presume to have been beaten although someone just said it, he hadn't done anything like that. So our ego generates a retaliatory response of variable degree.

The solution to the problem is that we should not go into the words but we should be able to understand the reason that made someone utter these words. When someone says, I'll beat you It should mean to us that, he got angry and instead of saying, I am angry at yoj, they said I'll beat you You should presume it is a vocabulary problem and should feel pity for that guy. You should think that he needs sympathy for not being able to express himself properly.

Think first, React later

It is a common practice that we often regret after some time of showing anger or other emotional acts in response to some annoying action. So we react first and think later on. So we are doing the reverse of what we should have ideally done. The ideal practice is to think first and react later. Although it seems difficult with practice, people have been able to do so.

Thanks