Choices! What will it be? #46

^{If therapist is just a body who would listen to all your traumas without questioning them then I'm a therapist}

I became a friend's therapist 8 years ago as a teenager.

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^{In those dark days and nights she had no one to share her trauma. She was afraid to live alone in the home which had more silence than any cemetry}

In those nights, she had a saviour in the form of an ordinary friend who would listen to her all day and all night. I was that ordinary friend who became her extraordinary friend during that time.

She was the youngest of them all. Our Talk therapy continued for years where I was just listening.

In the beginning, it didn't bother me instead i became grateful for my healthy parents. I realised their value after seeing my friend who had lost a mother.

However, as time passed i started getting anxious after listening all her negativity. I still loved her but things were becoming overwhelming for me to listen anymore during odd hours).

Fortunately, she was sane enough to understand it, she minimized talking about that specific incident. But she kept sharing about her other issues, which were okay for me to some extent.
Loneliness brought her trauma again

^{picture is mine}

I recommended her YouTube channels and books as a therapist's alternative.

Society shames a person who seek mental therapy. It only takes a bold step to go for it if you're really interested to get healthy.

Those people who suffer from unresolved traumas make other people suffer too when they go in any relationship.
(Remember? I started getting issues beside loving my friend).

Take care of yourself for the people around you to not hurt them.

1-I have also witnessed a terrible incident of homicide a few years back. A husband murdered her wife after 3-4 years of their marriage. It was a love marriage and they were cousins.

The boy had unresolved childhood trauma which he got from his father who used to beat and kill people.

He did the same to her wife because he couldn't control his anger.

Such people need a rehabilitation center instead of a wife, society thinks a wife would heal her ill tempered husband.
Unfortunately, it only happens in movies and not in real life.

2-I have witnessed a monster who was under a therapy and medication, but still chose to go in a relationship. He made his partner suffer and killed her by beheading her when she refused him. It happened in the elite class.
Can you believe it?

I will always emphasize on the importance of a therapy. If a person suffers its impacts are not restricted to that person alone. It goes to their friends, family, and society.

Trauma healing doesn't depend entirely on listening but partially on taking practical steps to break the vicious cycle of negative thoughts and actions.

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• He is a specialized person who knows the science behind the thoughts and emotions.

• A therapist is not someone who will just listen to your, instead he will give you practical exercises to do like journaling, breathing, or channelling your thoughts and emotions.

• A therapist can listen to your feelings via talk therapy/Psychotherapy

• He can make you observe the relation between your negative thoughts and your actions to be mindful of them via Cognitive behaviour therapy.

• He can challenge your thoughts and make your confront the situations which your fear the most to know your triggers via Exposure therapy

• He will not judge you for your negative thoughts.

• Your conversation will be confidential unless you seem to harm yourself.

• He will make you go through appropriate therapies seeing your level of trauma.

• They also have supervisors who check on them to see if they're doing justice with their work.

• Therapist also take therapies for themselves to cope well with their clients.

I also ended up taking a self help book lately. It was in my national language Urdu with the name Main Anmol(I Precious). It had 33 chapters and was supposed to read only one chapter each day.

^{Dear Diary-picture is mine}

It came with a diary that had 33exercises to solve after reading every chapter every day.

These questions were to observe my thoughts and emotions and write them in the diary.

^{There are also many self help books which anyone can read to heal themselves. There is no shame in seeking treatment those who belittle it should ne ashamed.}