How Traditional Marriage is performed in my Hometown, City or Community

Right from creation, marriage institution was divinely given a pride of place.
It is a hallowed union that not only builds bridges of unity and co-operations among people's but a forunner in the elongation of the human race.

For us indigenous peoples of Lude Ahiara Mbaise Nation, we, not only rever it, but hold it in a very high esteem.

Every culture, every society and or race may have different or slight variations, steps or approaches to traditional marriage, that could be properly understood. For a new family, a new partnership, union, bridge building was being consumated and therefore does not have to be delegated and or by proxy. This is a serious union being entered into, not just by the two individuals (couples) directly involved, but by their families and still counting.

Hence, necessating a thorough background check of both families, the bride and bridegroom respectively. For it is morally wrong to marry and at the end of the day, the couple divorces, separates or go their individual ways. It's an error of high magnitude that must be avoided as much as possible.

A wrong step in this regard could rupture or damage irretrievably a relationship painstakingly built over the decades, and negatively affecting, not just the nuclear family but an entire race, community, or even a nation, though depending on the background and or mindset of those involved.

If a potential bridegroom shows or indicates interest to take into marriage a daughter in my community, such proposal is never approved in the surface. There has to be scrutiny. Time is taken to conduct discreet inquiries, investigations or back ground checks, the distance not withstanding. If there is no known immediate traditional contact person in case of distant lands, we go through diplomatic channels.

Compulsorily, there has to be an information in the character of the potential suitor, family background, means of livelihood, physical health status in most cases. Yes, physical health because if approval is eventually given, the suitor and the bride has to jointly undertake that of blood group (Geno type), and that of fertility.

While this critical segment is on going, the two families have their eyes on the ball and ears on the ground to ensure nothing stands on the way of their choice of life partner for the children that could lead to regret later in life. It could be looked over or completely ignored if it is a minor issue in any of both families, but if it is a major one, the marriage may not hold.

Presentation of Lists - Marriage Rites

If it gets to the level that the list of marriage rites has been taken over by the bride's family, that is a positive sign. The list of course is detailed; incorporating that of nuclear family, kindred (Amala), youths, and in most cases spinsters within the kindred. Most times, though, it varies from family to family, the bride's family gets little or nothing in the bargain materially.
It is the kinsmen that take the lion share of the materials/items collected from marriage rites.

The joy of the family in question is that a daughter was being happily given out in marriage and witnessed by all and sundry. Going to start a new home - continual elongation of the human procreation. Joy knows no bounds!

Choice if the Appropriate Market Day

Traditional marriage in my community is such an important and sensitive exercise that it is never haphazardly done. The elders and enlightened members of the family and kindred do put heads together while networking with the family of the bridegroom and the middle man to arrive at an acceptable and convenient market day suitable for both parties.

This inevitable synergy will herald the D Day - Celebration galore! The moment a particular date us agreed upon, feverish preparations begin in Ernest by both families to ensure the success of the event. The necessary and needed items are purchased and assembled, arranged in their various categories for the mother of the bride, father (dead or alive), youths,kindred and spinsters.

Recall, these days, some families if the bridegroom do opt to have the monetary (cash) equivalent of the listed items, by which they send the money to the bride's parents to purchase the needed items. Be that as it may, it is not every material that has to be bought with money e.g snuff (tobacco), Hot Drinks, Gin for elders and ancestors etc have to be bought and physically presented to these elders.

On the day of the marriage ceremony, different dishes, cuisines, delicacies, pastries and snacks are prepared, depending on the individuals involved. In several cases, even if the bridegroom is not financially strong, but the bride's family understand he is handicapped and will make a good husband and son in-law, they will spare nothing in throwing their financial muscle to
to help out. Invariable, it is believed the bridegroom is part and parcel of the bride's family, tribe, race or culture notwithstanding until he prooves otherwise. Quality and sumptous dishes are served guests. Also, on the choice of those involved, and the size of their pockets, different kinds of musical group are contracted, traditional band, christian gospel band etc. After all, these days, even as gospel music artist, all manner of local traditional lyrics, most times copy wright, notably High life musicians of both old and new generation are sang to entertain guests.

         Types of Clothes Worn

As regards the type of clothes Worn by these couples on their marriage day, marriage, as expected us a once in a life time engagement, hence, couples are expected to put in their best attire. Even the bridesmaids and groomsmen are expected to follow suit. Their appearance and carriage will go a long way in sending a message to their guests as to how organised and serious they attach to such notable event where they are the cynosure of all eyes. They cannot afford to compromise their appearance and even carriage.

In my community, traditional marriage is a carnival of some sort. Family members in distant lands are invited to be present and most times they respond in both cash and kind, even close family members in the diaspora.

One outstanding attribute of traditional marriage from the angle of the elders in my community is that there is the pressure in the couple, be special the woman to bear as many children as possible, atleast ten in a row in order to be admitted to the (Eghu Ukwu Club) exclusive association of women who were able to bear ten children and above.

Unfortunately, the younger generation have refused to buy into the culture, conscious of the socio economic implications in our contemporary society. The most striking thing is that even wealthy young couples who have the resources to maintain as many children as possible bluntly refused to procreate carelessly.