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RE: Open Happiness (Week 7): Touching lives through Selfless Giving!
Welcome to our Open talk this evening. Here are the questions:
The first child in an African family has lots of responsibilities. Now the Question is this:
1. As a parent, would you prefer your first child to be male or female? What are your reasons.
2. What can parents do or stop doing to help the first child shoulder responsibilities?
3. What is your position in your family? Would you take that position if given a second chance?
I would prefer my first child to be a female for these few reasons:
•She would learn and guide the younger ones in house hold chores with ease.
•Female children take care of the parents better even after they are married.
•I would have more time to take care of her as my first fruit before the others start coming
To ameliorate the burden on the first child, intending parents should be financially flexible enough before venturing into marriage and procreation.
Most of the reasons for the burden on the first is that the parents are not financially stable,for example,Dangote's first child cannot be under any pressure to train or Support the younger ones before the father is well to do.
I used to be the second,but now I am the first.
I am getting used to the position.I would still like to maintain it if given a second chance(though idon't believe in reincarnation).
Big points. I believe to much financial burden is placed on first children. Financial planning is necessary before raising kids. Do you think a well trained first male child wont do well in that position regarding household chores?
Wow sir @samuel20
You really made a great point here
Yes , female child will never forget where she's coming from. Even after marriage.
Thank you for this wonderful point
Question 1
I would prefer any gender as my first born as a parent,
I don't think I have a specific reasons for that
Lol..
Ok nice bro
OK,
That's a great choice as well... Every child is special, depends on how we all see it.
Oh really, thats interesting. You know lots of people would say they need a girl child first so she can cook and do house work. What do you think about that? @olabillions
Yes I do hear things like that too but as a parent, I klhave learnt that any gender can be the chef of the house, the cooking isn't meant for ladies alone sometimes, as the first child of the house I cooked for years for the family before I had a little sister
@olabillions, you are right as you say "the cooking isn't meant for ladies alone " you can see that when it comes to cooking, the girl child has alot of patience and flexibility as compared to the girl child. Come sun come shine you will never hear a boy somewhere saying he loves cooking but you mostly get that from girls
Yes
I'm in that category. Lol
Hahaha exactly thats what on my mind @focusnow. I love my BB to know all my cooking steps and to represent me when ever am not around 😂
Good Evening House
Good Evening Uncle Charles
Personally I want twin boys and a girl. Don't have any specific reason anyways besides wanting them to protect there younger sister.
For the first child to shoulder responsibilities the parents have to start dishing out certain takes at home from a certain age; he or she could gradually start washing plates, arranging there clothes etc.
I'm the 3rd child and 3rd daughter in my family and I would gladly love to maintain the position if given another chance 😂
Among the twin boys and a girl, which one would be the first child or choice?
The twin boys first
I love the wish you have, that's having twins as first blessings to your family
Good evening @judeet10 i learned twins are always complicated and they come with a lot of trouble too....have u heard about that too? And would u still want them???( Hahah) just fiction i guess
😂😂 I can handle the boys and there wahala.
@judeet10 i have heard about that and i don't believe in that. I am a Twin and we don't disturb we came as a source of blessings to our family and i believe all twins too. I will still love to have twins as my first blesdings.
Wow .that is fantastic @bihnadine ..then be ready to welcome them then cuz u definitely have them in ur DNA
@breeze.com Thanks much. I whish my dream comes true one day. I will be the happiest mummy
It is coming ohh
Twins are just great i love them
I think i can handle them
God will surely give them to u bro..
Amen oo
lol, we the third born, we love our position.
I want twins as well, a boy and a girl thou.
💃💃💃 nice to know you're the 3rd born.
Parent should invest more in there fist child financial, but most parents want to do this but due to their current financial situation, and some parents want us to learn how to work for money and know how to value money to avoid lavishing money
Sure, I think if you invested in a first child, you can help the person to grow and stand. But, is it the responsibility of the parent to raise the other children, or that of the first child as we see in some families?
It the responsibility of the parents to raise other children, but since the first child is financial stable he can assist his parents willingly.
Is there any other things parents can do especially if the first child is struggling?
1.I will prefer a female child as a first born child, thou I am OK with any gender but as a woman a female first born will help me with house chores and other things apart from this female children trend to be more available than male children when they grow up, they stay more connected to the parents than the male children.
2.A first child will always shoulder responsibility, if not financially, it will be raising his/her siblings and been a good role model. I think what the parent can do is to be available and more present.
3.The third child. I love my position .hahaaha
You have made big points here sis, very realistic. How was your sunday?
It was fine MA, thanks
Waooh, I love that position too. Assuming you were the first child in your family, would you have done some things differently?
Yes I would.
I would have find a better way to bring all my siblings together. We all not very close and it bothers me sometimes.
Some Parents pamper the first child so much especially if they had thr child later than expected. This can hinder the child's sense of responsibility in the family, he or she may have the thought that he is a king/queen and must be served. So they should avoid too much pampering of a child.
This is a nice point. Do you think it should be the responsibility of the first child to raise other children in the family?
As for me, I prefer my first child to be a girl, females tend to be more hommy than males generally are. Most females handle family tasks maturely than most males do.
I agree with you 💯 @meymeyshops female children are more responsibility-minded.
Really, is this an isolated case or a generalization. Among the male or female first child, who do you think handles family disputes better
From most of the cases I have seen,females do manage it better.
Most times,male first children are only concerned about their patrimony and pay little attention to salient issues.My thought though.
Sir sometimes it depends on how your train your children. If you teach them how to diligent in return they will handle family matters
Thats a great point too. How about some people talking about holding or retaining family properties, that it suits a male. What do you think ma?
That absolutely true, most female children are talented or even knowledgeable when it come to handling of matters in the families
Are u try to say that guys are not good in handling family matters?
Same thing I said, girl child all the way though both gender are cool, I just prefer the female
Yea ma
Great point ma
But what about, looking after the father's property?
Any reasonable child can take care of the father's property no matter the gender. When a child is overly pampered, if its a male, he will squander his inheritance.
Yea true,
I agree with you ma
Ma what if God decides to give u male throughout?
I am the first born of the family, of course I have been a good son to my parents and also a big brother to my siblings as they look up to me in what ever step they want to take ...they seek advice from me before making a decision
That's nice of your siblings
anyone that comes first am good with that i dont have any problem with anyone that comes first
to me i think parents should train their kids to take responsibilities their self.
am the first child of the family. If am giving the chance i will take it oo. I like am well well
Some people believe female children take care of their aging parents better than male. What do you think?
Majority people that takes good care of their parents are mostly female. Some men are always busy but in financial support i think men do better
Wow...good evening everyone and @focusnow.what another sensitive topic.
1: I had prayed for my first child to be a male and God answered my prayers.I know you are wondering...hhahaha..But as an African the feeling is just in born. We can't change it..of course we want someone to take over our legacy..women will always get married and leave the home.No offense ohh...hahaha
2.Education is the key...if parents can get all children educated they will definitely get involve in income generating activities to support each other.
3.I am the second in the family and i would have love to be last because taking care of your younger ones is so challenging at times you sacrifice so much about your family just to make sure they are ok....