I want to rip my heart out
Life is sitting on my heart like a heavy burden, I'm contracting. As soon as I wake up from sleep, my mind is reciting my thoughts that don't age. I want to die, I want to die.
I am sure what the future will bring, anyone who knows himself can be sure of this.
I know myself. I can't move, I can't be myself. Even though I know, I want more to die. My flaws pierce me and squeeze my vomited human soul.
I do not like anybody. I think I do. I do not want anyone with a blood relation around me, I cannot tolerate the existence of living things, I am forced. Hearing their voices is corroding me inside. They don't know I'm silent. I look good and quiet.
I can tolerate myself. My teeth that started to rot a little bit ache, I am getting angry. I hear your stupid voice and cannot find understanding.
I want to go crazy or die. I know the cleanest job to die, everyone gets rid of anyone. I can't die. I can't kill myself. I am lazy, I swear I am lazy, I cannot find myself ready because I am lazy. I am lazy to everything.
I am grateful to the song endless with its heavy voice that silences all sounds while I listen.
It contains elements. Even this enrages with the absurd imagination. I want to remove my tooth. I want to rip my heart out with my hands. I want to stop my mind to keep me silent. I want not to talk to me in me, I want to be offended by the place that is hostile to me, eternally.