A gift of the Selfish variety: A Dream

Some fancy dress, a flashy car or some late night bar
A salt massage, a rose water bath or song meant for the soul
Surfing blue waters , taking a sky dive or splashing in some ocean deep
I have given it thought , which one do I want?
Gold, silver or expensive metal,
But I don't feel up to a kernel.

My hands are warm , hot and cold
Sadly peeled, scrapped then healed
But opening my palms to feel those of others ,
I barely feel their healing surface scratched through their eyes

Is it running off in the face of the wind on some tropical island in Fuji?
Or racing sports vehicles for the fun it gives me;
But do I really deserve these all?

Look at me inside, I'm scared, alone
I don't need sympathy, but then I do
I can't act selfless, but then I do .

After all my efforts, after counting all my works
I have not reaped the greatest reward
And yet I have scrapped and worked and lived for others without my heart in it
My heart has broken, it died and shed away since the dawn

What is that gift I could give myself, selfish of course, out of all these the earth could bring ?
Is it Sympathy? Love ? Attention? Or Self Worth ?
I don't know indeed . For now what I do know is within me

I just want to have a dream.

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