What doesn't matter to us is ignored by the brain. In fact, every millisecond we automatically discard information. What we don't know rarely affects us directly. If we constantly evoke something—our fears, our demons—we should strengthen our thoughts about something that bothers us.
Your art is a beautiful tool for exorcising and flowing. Suffering is something that has made you strong. You are very brave. Stay creative. The world has many doors, and although it sometimes seems overwhelming, we always have options.