RECEIVING ADVICE
Receiving advice and input from others with open arms is a noble virtue. That is a characteristic of purity of heart and a sign of tawadhuk.
On the other hand, if a person is arrogant, when advised he will even fight and get angry. As God says:
And when the plague was stayed from them, God struck them with the edge of the sword, and all the souls that were therein;
Meaning: "And when it is said to him," Be pious to Him, "his pride rises to sin. So for him is hell. And that is the worst place to live. ” (Surat al -Baqarah: 206).
Even the attitude of rejecting advice and input is one of the great sins. From the hadith of Ibn Mas'ud, the Prophet SAW said:
Who is the greatest of all the children, when the man says to his brother, 'God has said,' Do you remember me? '
Meaning: "Indeed, one of the greatest sins is when a person says to his brother," Fear God, "then he replied to his brother:" Just take care of yourself. I'm the one you told me to. " (HR Baihaqi).
The attitude of wanting to accept advice is a reflection of awareness of one's shortcomings as an imperfect human being. Whether the one who receives the advice is an ordinary person or a ‘pious person. Because all the descendants of Adam will not escape from error.
In addition, the person who wants to receive advice, shows that he is a person who loves goodness and also loves those who give advice. Because, by getting advice, he becomes aware of his shortcomings. That is usually more readable by others than by oneself. As it improves, it becomes less and less ugly. And if he rejects the advice, then he will lose. Because, he loses the moment to add to the good or reduce the bad.
Our noble apostle, is always happy to receive advice, suggestions and input from his friends. And He sallallaahu ‘alaihi wassallam also did not hesitate to ask for advice and input from the companions.
When the battle of Badr was raging, Rasulullah SAW had gathered his troops at the location before the well of Badr. But the noble friend Hubab bin Mundzir saw the place as inappropriate. He politely suggested to the Prophet SAW to advance the troops after the well of Badr, and close the other springs. Until the Apostle's army took control of the water, and the opposing army had no source of water.
These suggestions and suggestions were accepted by Rasulullah SAW with pleasure. And the army advanced to the front of the well of Badr. The same incident was repeated during the siege of the Khaibar forts. The gathering of the Prophet's army was too close to the fort. Hubab again suggested that the distance of the troops be kept away from the fort of Khaibar, so as not to be targeted by the arrows of the Jews. Rasulullah also accepted this proposal.
When the Hudaibiyah agreement was completed, Rasulullah SAW and his companions canceled the umrah, and were replaced the following year. So He ordered his companions to slaughter the dam (tahallul) from their ihram. But they don't want to do it at all. Up to 3 times Rasulullan SAW ordered it.
Then he got up and entered the tent of his wife Umm Salamah. He seemed very displeased with the attitude of the companions, and he conveyed this condition to Umm Salamah. So at that time Umm Salamah suggested that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) go alone, say nothing, then slaughter the dam and call the barber.
Umm Salamah's suggestion was accepted by the Messenger of Allah and he did it. The friends saw him like that, all of them immediately slaughtered their respective dams. That's how the Prophet was pleased to receive advice and suggestions from friends and also his wife.
It's hard to take advice
It's hard sometimes to get advice from other people. Especially if we already have a certain desire, or a mature plan that is different from the advice. I personally feel that way. Many people gave me input. Sometimes I accept it, sometimes I don't. That is the weakness of our human nature.
Umar ra. once stated:
Meaning: "May Allah have mercy on those who point out our shortcomings." (Adabuddin wad Dunya).
Abu Hurairah ra. has also stated:
Meaning: "A believer is a mirror to his brother. If he sees a flaw, he fixes it." (Adabul Mufrad – Bukhari).
There are several factors that cause us to feel difficult to accept the advice and suggestions of others. Even sometimes tend to refuse and argue. Such as:
Feeling superior to the adviser. Good because of high position, age, rank and other positions. So that there is a feeling of not being ready to receive input from subordinates or those below them.
Feeling bigger and more knowledgeable than the adviser. Either because they feel a lot of knowledge, broad knowledge or high academic degree. So a professor or doctorate, for example, is sometimes a bit difficult to accept advice or advice from people who are still in the 1st strata. Especially from students and the general public. Except for humble people.
How to advise that is less wise and less effective. Maybe the language is a bit harsh, very patronizing, or even condescending. Then the advice becomes useless. Those who were advised did not accept it. It even led to resistance and objections.
