Virtigia -- a Capstone Piece
greetings dear steemians!
I hope you are having a wonderful day, and I thank every last one of you for dropping by.
Welcome to the god-daddy of all "Virtigia" posts
only here in the great and growing Stars community
many thanks to @kgakakillerg for everything you do
Let us begin.....
About a month ago....
..I began a very roughshod attempt at writing an installment piece of "barbaric fanstasy" that was my attempt at what I called the new novel. Its complete title being...
Life and Death in the Early Times of the Hill Country named Virtigia
...but which later became..
Life and Death in Virtigia
The fact that I failed to write a novel on the blockchain and ended up with only a "short story" does not irk me as much as it maybe should. I am still happy to present this work to you today in its completely incomplete form. I hope you like.
Table of Contents
- the 1st Chronicle hints at the story of the birth of Virtigia.
It all begins like this: The first chronicle marks the clasping of hands and the naming of Virtigia.
the 2nd Chronicle tells us about the conditions surrounding the birth of the child of Strykos and the Witch Enschantara.
the 3rd Chronicle describes the horrific ritual treatment of the child Fleur, whose birth was described in Chronicle 2.
the 4th Chronicle marks the arrival of the first Winter to the Land of Virtigia.
the 5th and 6th Chronicles talk about the formation of a formal military unit of Virtigians and how it divided into two factions: the Clan of the Wolf and the Clan of the Badger.
the 7th Chronicle sheds some light on the details of the Trial of the thief Jopopo.
the 8th Chronicle is about the arrival of Spring and how they celebrated it.
Please keep reading. The rest of the story is printed below.
the 9th Chronicle
The ninth chronicle sets forth the Early Hill-Country Time when Eel Heppet spoke the Prophecy forth before a twilit gathering of men, women, and elders on a night when no fires were tended and each person with one hand sat touching the soil and with the other hand sat touching another's hand.
When Eel Heppet had spoken the Prophecy forth, all of us peoples of Virtigia fell into line wandering past the Great Oak, and Strykos on each person's shoulder held a hand while each of us laid lips to the Upbraided Crow.
When our line had summated its o wandering, Strykos let out a loud Mooo in the nature of a bull and as even she-cows do, and then he in his lips tore the Upbraided Crow's neck from its wings and he spat eyeballs.
Strykos is much loved of we his people, revered.
He and a Council of Three -- including the Witch Enschantara, Heppe, and the Law -- gathered in the Witch's hut and discussed until Day's Fall.
the 10th Chronicle
Thus the 10th Chronicle
the Prophecy
when the raging roaring buzz of Flies
and before that Swarm itself consumes
but long after the Bull's last dance spent
and long after any man's last breath
the music of the Hill Country of Virtigia
will be drowned in pestilence
~this Eel Heppet spoke forth
a fragment of Enschantara's Cosmogony
as pilfered by chronicler Yep during the times of their wandering
The First God is the Everlasting Waterfall, the principle of transparence itself -- but not uniform like the air or aether..but like a liquid, all so sparsed in its falling flow that it gave rise to the Lesser Gods by making space for them.
The Second God is the Ray of Radiant Light...
The Third God is the Air Lord Arisen...
the 11th through 13th Chronicles are considered lost.
the 14th Chronicle
Chronicle 14 betrays:
At night at our gathering of Virtigians
Strykos unsheathed his legendary sword
and struck down the weak-wristed man-weaver
who had stood and spoke against him
Horoi the man-weaver fell
but half the gathered elders there booed and lowed
fragments from the Journal of Yep during the times of their wandering
Strykos: "All those Badgers are nothing more than fools! Do you see the things we've seen thus far, my friend Yep? The minerals, the oases, the plants, the trees, the fruit, the game -- all of it. And more, my friend. So much more.
"Those fools just sit there and starve, right next to a pit of vipers."
Strykos: "Wait..stop..look!"
[...]
Strykos: "He wants your flesh. You must scare him with the sign of magic."
Me: "The sign of magic?"
Strykos: "You must have one somewhere in that scribe's head of yours!"
Me: "Can you show me?"
Strykos: "If I show you, the lion will see that I am your master. Then he will most certainly devour you while I am looking elsewhere. Just make it work!"
~signed the White Witch, Somewhat Stained
best regards to @steemcurator08
#life #death #barbarity #community #stars #forever #story
in everything there is a spirit, even the littlest thing~
Hmmm. I want more context. I want to know more about who these people are. At the same time, I like the idea of scraps of chronicles. I'm not sure you would need to add much, to make it more satisfying to a reader. Maybe too, there needs to be some kind of hook, maybe, to get the reader started. And to keep us going ... I don't know. It feels a bit closed, almost deliberately obtuse, and it takes a lot of work to follow it. Part of the 'problem' with that, is that it is online. I don't think, even people who like to read, want to work at reading fiction that is online. Maybe that's just me though. ... Let's say, these are my reactions, and I'm not prepared to say that they mean anything. Ha! I'm not sure, I guess. Strykos was an interesting character. I think they fear him more than they love him. And why wouldn't they? I mean, I don't understand why he killed the 5 kids, and maybe that was your point, that it was just pointless. I think if you wanted to give us more, that might be an avenue for doing that, develop his character a little? He's already intriguing, and if there is a protagonist, he's it. ... This is interesting. Maybe my final statement is, it has a lot of potential.
Hi Cliff. I hope you don't mind me calling you Cliff. To be honest, my beloved Grandpa's name is Cliff. He's off wandering the wild hereafters now, and I hope he's getting into enough trouble to keep himself entertained, but I digress...
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. Your many kind and well-thought-out words.....I really appreciate them. I want to think more about what you've said, and I will.
In the meantime, how did the first day of a new job treat you? I've started enough new jobs in this life to know that the first day isn't always the best. I hope it suits you well enough for the time-being anyway.
Hopefully I'll hear from you again soon, wherever really
Hey, the job looks like it could work for me, thanks for asking. And, shoot, my grandpa's name was Cliff! How about that? If you lived in Indiana, I'd have to wonder if we were related! Anyway, I was glad to read your story.
Well for everyone's sake, I hope that your grandpa Cliff was less of a deveeing fella than Papa was, but either way that's pretty neat.
Hopefully the job continues to work for you for as long as you need.
Never been out to Indiana. The only times I ever went East was in planes. Did a lot of driving west and southwest of Minnesota and liked it a lot. If you've never been to the Black Hills you simply must carve out a way there hopefully sooner than later. The redwoods would prolly also qualify as a must-see.
Any mountains to climb out in Indiana? Heck even a good hill would serve me nicely.
Hopefully talk to you again soon.