Neighborhood News (1/30/2020): The Day of the Great Feast

Hello Neighbor. Are you prepared for the Neighborhood news? I hope so, because today is special!

Today is a special day in the Neighborhood: The Day of the Great Feast. Surely you remembered. You did remember it’s The Day of the Great Feast, right? Your HOA issued calendars clearly had it marked. You did put it on the assigned spot your fridge, right? Good.

Now that the meats have dried out after a week of stewing, the wait is finally over! A Grand Buffet befitting our Utopian Safehaven will be laid out on The Clubhouse Lawn for all to partake in. Plastic plates and cups will be provided, as well as fruit punch.

I recommend the ground Chuck or the rack of ribs with Herb and spices. Would not recommend Gerald’s Spotted Dick, however. Would avoid that at all costs if I were you. If you went for it, it would behoove you to consult the local Neighborhood Physician @drlobes immediately for treatment.

And don’t forget, on The Day of the Great Feast, children get first pick at the buffet! The Children are Our Future. The Child are Our Past. The Children are Our Present, and presently, They hunger.

After The Feast, the Neighborhood Elders will perform the ceremonial Neighborhood Bonfire, where the remains that didn’t make the cut will be burned and offered to appease The Guilded Bank, without Whom we'd be lost in the uncertain wilderness that incessantly tries to engulf our Idyllic Community.

In other news, The New Sun is well underway. I checked up on Chief Engineer Wentworth’s progress earlier today and he told me “yep that Sun, I tell ya, that Sun...” and proceeded to whoop until I hung up the phone.

One of the requirements of this new project was that we could choose the color of The New Sun. Neighbors can vote on the new color via silent affirmations into their mirrors during their morning routines.

And remember Neighbors: a smile goes long way, so be sure to smile at all times. We’ll be monitoring.

(Looking to move into The Hood? We have vacancy! All are welcome! Become One of Us here: https://beta.steemit.com/created/hive-154988 Be Our Neighbor.)