SLC-S24/W1 - Tangled Emotion | The Powerful Conversation".

Greetings everyone. I'm here to participate in this contest about tangled emotions. Emotions are strong, I can even say stronger than most things, and though they can't be seen with the optical eye, they are scattered everywhere, you just have to know where to feel for it.

Water dripping off his body as he towels off, while his wife arranges the bed covers

Wife: Dear, it's Easter monday today, can we spend time together? You know you're always busy with work on the weekdays and barely come home and even when you do, you're always on the phone.

Husband: (hurriedly fastening his belt)
I can't today, I have a very meeting important meeting to attend, a lot depends on it.

Wife: (gives a rueful painful smile)
Is it the one you scheduled with Nkechi with the ❤️emoji?? She sent a message when you were in the shower.
I thought you said she is your cousin?? How come she's sending you romantic messages??

Husband: Uhmmm, uhmmmm, she's ..........(speechlessly stares at his wife)

Wife : She is what??
You thought I wouldn't notice the changes in you? The late night calls you take in the sitting room when you think I'm asleep? The silly excuses to leave the house or come back late? The scent of a woman's perfume on you almost every night?? (Sighs deeply)
I thought you said It would be you and I alone for a lifetime?? Or were those just words to make me feel good at the time??

Husband: I'm sorry.( He breaks down in tears)
After we lost the baby, you became so unreachable, I knew you were grieving but I was grieving too and I couldn't find my wife anymore!!

Wife:(Says very quietly)
So you went searching for solace in the arms of another woman??
What happened to our vows to always communicate with each other and talk things through no matter what happens???

In your opinion, who showed greater emotional maturity during the conversation, and what made you feel that way?

The wife showed greater emotional maturity. It's not easy to know your partner is having an affair outside and you still have the strength to confront them with it because emotional issues can tear one apart from the insides out. It takes a strong level of self control to be able to know, and handle it the way she did without breaking somebody's head.

Do you believe that emotional cheating can cause as much or even deeper damage than physical cheating? Where do you think the true betrayal begins: in the heart or the body?

Oh certainly. Emotional cheating is 10x worse and leave a damage deeper than anything done in the physical. You're at a point where it's as though your body is disconnected from your soul and it becomes harder when you can't even find the words to explain the pain you're feeling, so you leave it inside and it numbs you a bit further as the days go by. The heart is definitely the place it all starts, by the time we begin to see physical body signs, a lot has gone wrong.

3. What are some subtle yet powerful signs that emotional distance is growing between partners?

• You both don't talk as often anymore and even when you do, it's always surface level - no deep intimate connections anymore.

• No more hugs, kisses or fondly called pet names - this is a tell tale sign.

• An inexplicable void. You can't explain the void, but you know it's there all right. Sometimes we chunk it up as tiredness or business, but deep down, you know there's a void.

• The amount of attention they give each other begins to dwindle. They don't check in with each other as much, they don't seem to see each others need again.

WhatCan love truly survive a deep betrayal? What do you really need to rebuild and reconnect with broken trust?

I feel it can, but the scars will take a long time to heal and the trust will take longer to rebuild.
At this point the erring partner needs to be intentionally transparent with his or her spouse.
They don't need to ask, they won't, it's your job to tell them about it.

• Intentional transparency
• Open heartfelt honesty and last but not least, genuine repentance and a very visible willingness to try again.

One would know when a partner is genuinely repentant by their actions as words don't count for much at this point.

If you were a marriage consultant, What advice would you give to couples in the sheath of heart break and healing??

I would ask them to go home, each take some time off and reflect on why they decided to get married to each other in the first place.
What was the spark?? What did they love about each other that took away the scare of saying "I do" to forever??

Remembrance has a way of juggling reality into place.

As much as it's not a good place to be, heartbreaks sometimes bring the stark reality of our relationships into view and make us question our motives. I invite @pandoradiary @jovita30 and @hyacinthfavour to join this contest.