The teens team: Series 02// Dealing with my parents
Nice to meet you here on teens team today. Last week we had talked about being molded by truth. What truth? Truth of being productive! Did you love what you read, what decision did you make after reading it? if so, how far have you gone with it?
That’s a self- examining question you need to answer but if you wish, you can share your answers in the comment section.
Today, we’re going to be talking about a hard nut that sometimes get teens depressed and that’s; Dealing with our parents.
Oh! How I do love stories, and I’ll be telling you one about a friend of mine. Ifuu as we usually call her is a young teenager who happens to get stocked with her parents 24/7 since she had graduated from high school. One day, her mum asked her to make a local dish of rice and stew. When her parents came back they found her doing nothing unknown to them that my friend had finished cooking the dish. In the heat of the anger without asking questions, a hot slap landed on ifuu’s right cheeks.
Ouch! It sounded so hard and so were the pains. Not being the first time this happened, ifuu felt she was tired of it, she got a kitchen knife and ran upstairs. Thanks for brother Collins who caught her just in time if not, I’d be mourning my dear friend ifu now.
African parents especially can be tough at times. But I’ll tell you straight up that a decision to commit suicide was never the best option for ifu or any other teenager. And as you do know, I love speaking truth, so let me tell you some;
- You have many gifts in life, but your parents are the first.
- Even if they get mad at you most times, the love you and want the best for you
- Most times your parents are in the right
- Never think of suicide. Its not worth it
- One day, you might be a parent. Treat them the way you would love to be treated.
We’re all victims of misunderstandings by our parents, but please do not get that into your head.
Definitely, you might not be in the wrong, but at least for the sake of the three truth earlier mentioned, give them a benefit of doubt.
Sometimes, their actions or words may hurt that like ifuu you may almost commit suicide, act rebelliously against them, find it hard to do things with a full heart, leave the house or might even get you depressed.
Now how in particular can we deal with this?
Do you think running from home is the best way to escape the ‘African home trauma’?
No, I totally disagree but I’ll tell you something; the more mature you get (not older, but mature* mature**) the better you realize yourself, your mistakes and make better decisions.
It’s almost like some lineage thing for a parent act or say something not very kind to their young ones. Hitting the nail on the head, let’s see practical ways we can deal with it.
- Calm down: Whenever those incidences occur calm down, always remember to calm down and think twice. If you need to cry it out- do. At least you may find a measure of relief
- Never talk back:Talking back or retaliating is nothing but the best bad decision you could ever make even if you are not in the wrong. Perhaps from your actions, your parents may give a thought to their actions or words.
- Apologize: You can’t be all perfect, sometimes you make mistakes. How well do you respond to incidents like this? Never forget to apologize, even if you don’t do that at the spot, there’s always a room for it some other day.
- Never react: A positive reaction gives a positive effect, and vice versa. If you overreact, you might just be proving someone the more, so do your best to be your usual self no matter what and not act negatively.
- Talk to someone: Do you have an older person you are comfortable with? Most preferably a relation. you could talk to them, listen and adhere to their instructions and possibly they could help talk to your parents too.
- Talk with your parents: To me family meetings isn’t just the best time, find a very comfortable time maybe when having a fun meal or just some family chat. Better still, you could find one of your parents who is more closer to you and pour out your heart to him/her.
- Pray: No magic works like prayer. It’s a deliverer, a very effective medicine. Whenever you are troubled, no matter what it is let prayer be part of you.
- Be yourself: everything has got an expiry date so, do not worry or think. It happens to almost every teen (you remember when I said you’re are not alone? yea, I mean it. so act like it didn’t happen, learn to forgive and forget. Remember our truth4- one day, you’ll be a parent, so act and treat them like you want to.
To be sure youre better, why not try this;
Sometimes give yourself a careful thought about the incident, try examining yourself. Did what they say actually make some sense?
You can even share this thought with a reasonable friend and hear out what they think then give yourself some chance to improve if need be.
If dad and mum keeps nagging on the same things here’s a way, write a self check list and see how you can work on this even in their absence and tick yourself right each time you safely cross a hurdle.
"But, what if my parents misjudge me for something and then latter the truth becomes clear but ignore it? "
It’s very much likely that the chance of acting like they acknowledge your innocence is slim let alone apologize. So here’s it, NEVER WAIT FOR AN APOLOGY, IT MAY NEVER COME. Just keep moving on and act like it never occurred for the sake of peace.
It’s also very much likely that someday you might be out of dad and mum’s influence or authority, so CALM DOWN, ENDURE, RELAX they may just come to understand you and ditto even to the point of working on their flaws too.
Being a parent is not easy, thinking about running the house to daily feeding and living is no small feat. So, appreciate their effort and let it show in your words and deeds.
Dear parent, are you reading this? Not all your teen kid may have the courage to tell you about their worries or how they feel, could you stoop a little low to ask them some questions on how they feel or think pertaining to any subject? or things that doesn’t really feel right? Sometimes lowering your voice and ignoring them could save some, that way I’m sure that parent-child relationship will be reinforced and even stronger.
That’s our little package for you today on the teens team. Let me know what you think about today’s thrill, please share a thought, question or suggestion, the teens team is very open minded to hear from you. It’s time to cook some more dish for our next edition. Meet you there!
Wanna check out previous editions? Right here👇
Heres my introduction post