I agree with you. It is hard to find a balance and I totally understand how one's inability to say no seems like an invitation to be abused, but saying no also comes with its own risks. Not necessarily because of some weird la la land notion of illusionary obligation, or because you're supposed to deny yourself, but because of a seemingly accumulative kind of psychological blowback. You know, like feeding that hateful little creature in the back in your head. The one that grows and grows until it eventually takes over. Then one day you catch yourself grinding over some long distant past bullshit and realize you're just some old fart doing the dishes. Life is too short for that, I'd say.

The challenge of saying no, or in terms of survival, is finding a way to fight back without losing yourself in the hate. Ironically enough I figure the same goes for the scammers, because they too think they're justified into doing whatever they're doing. Everbody does. We all think we're the good guys, more or less. So I guess maybe they are also just lashing out against an unfair world. And it is. Life is brutal and still, I'm living a pretty good life in comparison. So even if I end up saying no I'm not sure if I hold it up against them, because we're all just victims of our circumstances and I guess their despiration for quick buck is indicative of their situation being worse than mine (in one way or the other).

Either way, I reckon you already know when to give and when to take. It's just your head that's in the way, or your heart maybe. Like you feel like you should give a person something, then you make siginificant contribution and instead of feeling warm and fuzzy there's just... nothing. Seems a bit like that love-hate dichotomy where one might end up being the basis for the other. So maybe it's less about balance but temperance. I guess in my case it helps how I'm kind of a deadbeat myself, so even if you wanted to scam me I don't have much to begin with. Can't give what I don't have.