The problem and the solution are one and the same: You!
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- If someone makes us angry, it is because we already have anger inside us, and that person is only triggering this anger, and causing it to come to the surface.
- If someone upsets us, it is often because we are seeing something in them that reminds us of something we don't like in ourselves.
- If someone makes us feel sad or inadequate, it is because we already carry these feelings within us, and they simply did something to bring these feelings to the surface.
As the great psychologist Carl Jung said:
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
No one can really irritate us, annoy us or make us miserable, unless they provoke these feelings that are already latent in us.
- If someone says something that provokes an emotional response in me it is because there is a part of me that agrees with them on some level.
- If I want to cling to my illusions and defend my ego, then I will perceive that person as an enemy.
- If, however, I operate from the position of truth, and I want to shed the layers of my ego and my conditioning, then I will realise that they are not my enemy, but my friend, because they helped me to see and discover the next layer of illusion within me.
Seeing things in this light is not always easy to do, and requires you to take full ownership of yourself and your experience.
The ego hates this, of course, because it perceives itself as a victim, and perceives everything as a form of personal attack on "me".
- If someone judges you, it is because they are judging themselves.
- If someone acts with anger towards you, it is because they carry that anger within them.
- If someone treats you with disrespect, it is because they do not respect themselves.
How we treat others is a reflection of how we treat ourselves.
We can learn a lot about ourselves, and others, simply by observing the behaviours we act out.
However, the fact that we act on the surface reflects something deeper within us.