"Will you attend your ex's wedding?"

WILL YOU ATTEND YOUR EX's WEDDING ?

This question is absolutely a NO for me. I will NEVER attend his wedding. Infact, after the break up we stopped being friends. I deleted his contacts and warned him sternly never to contact me again or monitor my activities. I have no plans to ever get back with my ex, as we have both moved on with our lives now.

My ex came into my life at the age of 27 years of age. By then, I have already finished my university and served. I was ready for a relationship and all that I wanted was someone to love me. I attached myself to the first man who showed signs of commitment. I was so much in love with him that I believed he loved me too because at first, my ex was encouraging and understanding, always calling to check up on me. It was a long distance relationship. We were both living in different states. I told him things I wouldn’t tell anyone else; I felt like he was really trustworthy, good for me and had my back. He was the first person that I naturally loved with all my heart. He knew so well that I loved him too much and I think that's why he treated me so badly. Even when I was seeing those signs that our relationship wasn't healthy, I was hell-bent to make it work because of the love I had for him. At a point I was so scared of him leaving me. I was doing everything possible to let him stay in my life. I was so scared of heartbreak, I was so scared of what my extended family members and other people will say if we went our separate ways. Because of that, I was ready to endure all the abuses and ill-treatments that I was receiving from him. There was a time he insulted and abused me on the road just because I asked the shop owner where we went to buy recharge card to give me #50 biscuits from his change. He called me obscene names in the presence of people. This is someone that will buy something for me and asked me to pay him back the money, and I always do for peace to reign. He always tell me that no one else was going to love me as much as he did if he leave me, that I would never be good enough for anyone else. I started to believe I was really worthless, that I wasn't good enough. I felt that I am the one at fault, whatever he do or say is right. I always believe that. I was so broken in so many ways both physically, mentally, financially, emotionally and spiritually. The mindset I had then was that I was not good enough for him or for any one else. The worst of it all is that he isolated me from my family and friends. He crushed my spirits so much that l lose my self worth and self esteem. I was always afraid of him especially whenever he is around. He made me so anxious all the time, having panic attacks and crying at everything. Crying was an everyday occurrence. I think he derives joy whenever he droves me to tears. I was too scared to tell anyone how bad it was so I just kept everything bottled up.

I remembered the day a vehicle nearly ran me over because I was lost in thought. That was the day that I told myself that I needed help. I ran to a Priest, so broken that I couldn't speak for some minutes. The Priest was so patient with me even when it was his busy day, he allowed me to cry out my heart without interfering. When I felt better to talk, that was when I narrated my ordeals to him. He counselled me and prayed for me. Infact, he gave me all the supports that I needed.

The next day, I summoned the courage and told my ex that I am done with him and the relationship. He looked me in the eyes and burst into laughter. He kept on laughing till I left the house to my place of work.

When I came back from work, nothing was left in the room. He literally parked everything that I had, both the ones he bought for me and the ones I bought by myself. The big sets of pots that I bought , the kitchen utensils, my books, some of my clothes that he bought that I never worn, like he practically removed everything in the rooms and kitchen.

I know I did nothing to deserve what he did to me. I have now moved on with my life, and without him I’m very much happier. I don’t hold any anger or grudges towards my ex anymore. I have forgiven him for hurting me and treating me the way he did as that’s in the past now. I have now realised that in life something’s are just not meant to be just like the relationship between us.

So Why will I attend his wedding after all the ugly experiences that I went through in his hands?

If you are in my shoe, will you attend his wedding? I know the answer will be No.

Anyways, he is in the past now, I’ve turn over a new leaf.