Forgiveness || Why I still haven't forgiven Myself...
I was always in search of truth, the moment of truth, and the meaning of this sentence. Some truths are bitter and it's hard to consume those truths. Sometimes we live our life on the base of the lies because we are afraid of accepting the truth. We just decorate our life and we try to show the world a mirror of lies which is created by us. We represent ourselves properly so that no one won't get a chance to point out the truth, the real truth which is hidden behind the mirror. At some points in life, there will be a time for self-forgiveness. Maybe you are living in guilt and fear and you don't like to show the real you because you are afraid that someone will discover your reality. Past hurts, the mistakes you have done in the past often scare you and force you to live in fear.
You don't want to hear that you weren't always the person you are today...
The entire thoughts put me into a dilemma, I was thinking where am I? Who am I? The life I am living in is real or it is some kind of illusion made by me. Sometimes I struggle to differentiate between reality and illusion. It's hard, confusing, and critical and in the end, there is no meaning to solve this puzzle.
I believe everyone has some regrets, guilt, and mistakes that they have done in the past. Some of us can't forget or forgive ourselves because it's not easy. We can easily forgive others but when it comes to self-forgiveness we struggle. We try to forget our past and move forward, the mistakes we might have done try to overcome and decide to move forward. But some guilt of mistakes stays inside and often seek for forgiveness.
Now, what is self-forgiveness?
Self-forgiveness means recognizing and admitting mistakes and forgive. This is a hard part of life I think where you to accept yourself that whatever you did was wrong and it's time to forgive your soul for doing that mistake in the past...
When you are in guilt, you will always remind yourself that you have done a mistake and you will be in pain... Let me give you an example: After my mom's death I used to think that I am the responsible for her death, I didn't maintain the responsibilities as her daughter, I didn't take care of her and because of my irresponsible attitude, she died. Knowing the truth that she was sick, I used to blame myself all the time and lived in the guilt of being a bad daughter. I couldn't forgive myself so easily and every single minute I blamed myself for her death. In fact, some of my family members also blamed me for her death, and my inner mind used to say always that " You are responsible for your mom's death ". I used to feel like a criminal and because of people I also felt, I have done a sin...
But what is the truth actually? The truth is, I might have done some mistakes but that doesn't mean I am the only one who was responsible. I agreed that I should have fulfilled my responsibilities properly but that doesn't mean I should live in guilt whole life...
I was in pain, scared, and was not ready to accept anything. I was not ready to let it go so I always ended up in the same place where I was before. I care about my mistakes, I care about people whom I lost but I used to justify myself...
The past cannot come back to haunt you unless you carry the past with you...
I learned from my mistakes and later I decided to let everything go, I have realized that keeping past inside me will not give me anything except pain. There are more malicious people in this world who are living their life, on the note I have done nothing. The entire concept, guilt created by my mind and people. Because of people's judgment and revoke, I considered myself as a criminal.
I can't be good towards everyone but I know myself. My behaviors represent me, I just need to forget the situation and forgive myself and move on...
And I forgave myself finally....
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Original post written by @priyanarc
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We need to forgive our pasts if we must move forward
You are right, we are afraid of accepting the truth . And we all have to learned from my mistakes . also keeping past inside you will not give you anything except pain . And we must move forward in our life.
“Forgiveness is a designed to set you free. When you say I forgive you, what you’re really saying is, I know what you did it’s not okay but I recognize that you are more than that. I don’t want to hold us captive to this thing anymore. I can heal myself and I don’t need anything from you.”
Congratulations, your post has been upvoted by @scilwa, which is a curating account for @R2cornell's Discord Community. We can also be found on our hive community & peakd as well as on my Discord Server
Felicitaciones, su publication ha sido votado por @scilwa. También puedo ser encontrado en nuestra comunidad de colmena y Peakd así como en mi servidor de discordia
Living a life of self guilt is not cool at all, that is what I feel leads to comitting suicide sometimes.
Learning to forgive ourselves is highly necessary and important.