Stories: The note, or how loveless sex finally knocked on my door
Today was a strange day, she had insisted since yesterday that she wanted us to have sex, and this morning I just couldn't say no. The truth, although it sounds strange, I did not feel like doing it much, but I suppose that, although it is less common, men also get the time when we have sex because we have to have it, and not because we really want it.
It's strange, in theory men always want to have sex, and most of the time it is, but when you have sex all the time, there comes a time when it stops being exciting and you realize that you need something more to give it sense. Well, that day came to me, one that to be honest I don't know how many men reaches, this is not a usual topic among gentlemen.
And the truth is, it is disconcerting to have a beautiful woman by your side who wants you intensely and to realize that your reaction is apathy. That possessing that body is no longer satisfying, and that it does not awaken in you the excitement and desire of before. And she is the same woman, the same body, the same possibility to explore new horizons without reservation, without questioning, without claims, and still doubt.
But why? Why can't I just possess her and pretend that she's someone else ?, as sad as that sounds. The truth is, I don't know. Deep down we men may not be as insensitive and carnal as we are portrayed. We may also need more than just "fuck."
The fact is that for the first time I had sex with someone out of commitment, because I had to, and I really didn't like it. She did not realize. I managed to incorporate some of her toys into the act, and ended up being more concerned about her pleasure than mine, but I won't be able to do the same forever.
I know that for many women this is an everyday thing, and that it may even be something "normal" in a relationship, but I don't accept it, I can't accept it, I don't feel like accepting it, I feel that doing it would be a kind of betrayal ...
Apparently that social construct called man, is more complex than you think, and it is something I have to reflect on, because I have to find a way to explain why I left her a note before I left this morning ... to possibly never return .
Thank you very much for reading this post and dedicating a moment of your time. Until next time and remember to leave a comment.