Marital Statement: For Better or For Worse
I had an experience where the pastor said, "for better for worse, and the groom replied by saying, : "for better for best". The pastor had to repeat over and over again for the groom to accept that it was the common truth to accept that bad times will come.
An abusive marriage isn't a marriage that going through a taste of time.
Marriage is an institution for learning by God.
God is the founder of this institution. It's where two individuals(usually a man and a woman) come to agree or accept to be with each other for the rest of their life.
Thus, when they go to the alter to to exchange vows, they do it in such a way that it becomes a lifetime thing: ...for better for worse...
This phrase alone explains what marriage is, and is all about. It tells us that in good and bad times, marriage will still exist. When a couple realize how deeply in love and committed they are to one another, it creates an atmosphere for trust, accommodation, love, self control and forgiveness.
For instance, if a man commits adultery and the wife finds out, and chooses to forgive the husband after he apologizes genuinely to her and promises not to do that, it settles the problem right there.
First, the woman displayed self-control, by patiently waiting for the husband to talk, and forgiveness comes in. That way, they are able to accommodate each other in areas of their weaknesses and shortcomings. Always willing to love, trust, and forgive not withstanding how painful it might be.
-I strongly support the statement because:
-It was and is established by God.
-It shows your commitment to your partner.
-It encourages you to remain faithful and focused in marriage.
-It makes you accountable, not controlled, to each other.
-It gives you the confidence of someone who'll always be there to watch your back.
I don't have any personal experience, and I don't pray to have one because of the Lord's grace, but this doesn't mean couples do not disagree over something.
Just to let you know, I'm single😆..
I've seen people in marriage who get physical, cry and complain, but at the end, they get back together and sort out their issue. The reasons for these crisis are that:
- The marriage was not built on a good foundation. So many people, especially the young ones that rush to tie the knot do not take their time to pray and discern who God wants for them as a spouse.
They look at the outward appearance of a person that may be appealing, and so they assume they've found all they want in a person. This is wrong. When the foundation should be God, to pray and seek for His power to grace their choice for a wife. And so, when they come together as a family and begin to see the inward display of this person, it becomes difficult for them to enjoy the marriage. - Lack of self control: So many persons are without self control. Once something happens, they jump in to conclusions which makes it unsafe or insecure for them to trust themselves. Another is exchanging words because they don't want to take nonsense from the other person, so their response alone can set the house on fire. They must learn to calm down and give soothing response to calm the nerves of the other person.
- Immaturity: Everything that causes a marriage to suffer is immature, not by age, but by the level of the understanding of these two. If someone is immature in their thinking or reasoning of solving problems, it will create a lot of problems in their marriage. Immaturity can be in how you relate with your wife, respond to her, not listen to her advise because you think a man is the head and so shouldn't obey the wife. These will take the man or even the woman nowhere.
If I were to change the statement: "for better for worse," I would not change it. From my belief as a Christian, what's is established by God is established for ever. Though some persons and even churches try to make some adjustments in this statement, it will always be there.
When people try to polish this, it makes no sense to a person who's matured. It doesn't mean you're inviting those worse times to come, rather it prepares you to anticipate those times and face it with your head high and come out victoriously.
It tells you shouldn't let go when the battle starts, it'll only be for a while. There's no marriage that's problem-free, every couple has their own tough times, but they will always come out of it together.
On the other hand, marriage shouldn't be abusive.
If a problem intensifies, you can leave "temporarily". You can give your spouse some time if the issue isn't sorted out like you thought.
Divorce is not an option in the Bible, but where one person puts his or her best to make it work and it doesn't, one should go for the sake of their own life. It wouldn't be funny to die because you want to remain a married person, or you don't want to be laughed at.
But the problem also is that we are not patient, marriage will always go through what you never expected, but give it your all, and trust the Lord to lead.
I'm open for corrections and possible contributions
I hereby invite @coolj2, @okere-blessing and @monz122
Special mention
@coolj2
@ngoenyi
@okere-blessing
@josepha