SEC S15W4: "Broken Trust" - You can trust me!

Trust means having faith

in something or someone. Whether this belief is justified remains to be seen. We are inclined to assume the goodness of people even though we know better. Being hurt twenty times does not mean that the average person automatically gives up hope. After all, without hope there is no life as the saying goes.
We find it normal that family and friends have our best interests at heart. Trickery, lying, adultery, slander and theft do not enter our thoughts when it comes to them. However, scientific research proves the opposite. The average stranger can be trusted more than the partner you share your life with. Blind trust of the loved one, and especially the man, seems to be a license for a life full of lies and unpleasant surprises (and if it comes to women they are capable to do exactly the same!).

Anyone who finds out that a loved one has broken trust has a lot to process.
I can safely say that my father was one of those people who fell from a very high pedestal. That pedestal I placed him on as a child. Did it ever work out between us? The answer is no.

My exes were definitely not the men of my dreams. Chain smokers, alcoholics and extremely selfish. They also did not want to bear any responsibility. It was all about them having "fun". The misery continued for years and despite trust being broken several times, I tried, and tried, and kept trying, and the misery continued. I kept trying not because I was afraid of being alone, but because of sayings like: You shouldn't judge a book by its cover and Everyone deserves a second chance. To me, these are clinchers, statements from people who have either not experienced anything, do not want to learn from their mistakes, are afraid of being alone or ignore their instincts.

Instinct is that little voice inside that warns that no matter how hard you try, you won't succeed.

A snake in the grass, will never change into a loyal dog.

A fox loses its fur, but not its tricks

is a Dutch proverb and I firmly believe in it. Character does not change and this also applies to certain behaviour. Lying constantly is a habit for a number of people, just like boasting about one's own qualities, defamation and machionistic behaviour. These are the kind of people I avoid. They are not worth my time and energy.

Breaking up with people who cannot be trusted can be very difficult.
I did it at some point. Not with one person, but with several people at the same time. Indeed it became very quiet in my life. If pathological liars, master manipulators and profiteers notice that they can no longer manipulate you they will easily dump you. No way, they saw the relationship as trustworthy.

Personally, I cannot get over broken trust.
Some may call me hateful for this, but for me this is self-protection and a clear life lesson. If I only attract these types of people, I deserve to be cheated on.
If I don't change, the people around me won't change.
Did that happen? The answer is: Yes. My life has improved 100% and when it comes to unhappiness I don't need anyone to make me feel like this. I can be unhappy on my own. I deserve better and I created that better life myself.

Am I approaching everyone with suspicion?

Of course not, even though I have been cheated many times and a devious neighbour has taken an awful lot of money from me .

In the world where I live, single women are still seen as easy prey, often by foreign men, but also by older Dutch men. Good enough for free sex, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and to let them pay for their expenses. I'm not suitable to be such a wife, a slave, or perhaps I'm too old-fashioned and believe a man is not a man if he cannot pay for his wife.

Is it possible to forgive one person

more easily than another?
When it comes to forgiveness I don't think this applies to me. My family has also no more credit than a friend or colleague. I do not care about bloodline.
Perhaps forgiveness has to do with the type of relationship or the extent of the broken trust? I assume the character of the person in question also plays a role. To me trust has everything to do with honesty. A broken promise can be enough to break bonds.

I wrote with many prisoners and never asked about their crime. I never forced them to tell me anything or asked questions. I've written with them for over ten years but if they lie they break my trust. How did that feel? It was disappointing, I felt deeply disappointed.

The city of Enschede - Netherlands

Being out on the streets

I don't feel threatened although I do not like crowds, nor I feel threatened at home but I do have dogs for security. If I felt threatened I would take something with me for protection and... use it.

I think it does matter where you are and how you act, stand and walk. Are you confident, do you stand upright or like a whipped dog. Are you alert or looking around nervously, are you absent-minded or are you just staring at your phone?

I have no problem sitting on a curb or wall or next to strangers on a bench. I greet and enjoy people who cycle by while singing. I talk to the homeless and drunkards just like I talk to foreigners and tourists, but I don't necessarily have to be friends with everyone. Perhaps it is me people are afraid of?

If people are too much for me, if they use too much of my energy, or I feel tired I'll stay home.

It's difficult to say whether everyone in the country where I live trusts his neighbour. I assume it depends on where you live, the area or street, and whether you are threatened by gangs or loitering youth who are often uneducated and disrespectful to the elderly.
Next to that there will always be people who distrust each other because they know nothing about these people, their culture or they have been treated very bad. I am sure if something bad has happened, it keeps one alert since we all know human beings are not the most trustworthy beings in this world.

Is the saying: The more I know humans, the more I like my dog true?

The large increase in criminals, rapists and murderers will certainly cause much more unrest. A good reason for me not to live in a city and to many to vote for politicians who stand for the rights of the own people.

To my opinion anyone who does not want to adapt to the norms and values of their new home country, who believes that they can do everything that is prohibited in their home country, does not belong in the Netherlands or any European country.
Because of the present situation it would not surprise me if more civil wars would break out because the people had it with the regime and started to defend themselves.

There has been no trust in the government for years, just like in the royal family, they have extradited the Dutch people for too long. It wasn't even that long ago this would have been seen as treason.

When it comes to trusting items,

I also see that as a lesson. If I buy something from a certain brand that always breaks within a few months or about which many people leave a negative review, then I have learned a lesson.
As far as brand names are concerned, for me this applies to LG, Hoover and Samsung. These days I do not care about brands, I am not willing to advertise for brands and go for what is the cheapest and fits to my needs because the warranty is just as long.

The same applies to animal breeders, certain animal shelters and many A-brands. If it comes multinationals it goes one step further. If the CEO of Nestlé says that the plebs should not haveaccess to free drinking water (free???), I will boycott them. I don't want anything to do with such companies.

Is trust something self-evident or an acquired feeling?

As far as material things and companies are concerned, this is certainly the result of advertising and manipulation.
As for people who say: You can trust me, I definitely wouldn't trust them. Whether someone comes across as trustworthy must be evident from (long-term) behaviour; words alone are not enough for me. My first thought would be: What does s/he want from me?

Trust is based on faith and believing that someone or something is the way you expect it to be.
This is often not based on truth and the greater the disappointment will be when everything turns out differently than expected. If that's the case the question arises: Who is to blame?

All photos are taken by me
7-2-2024
I am a mobile phone user only

I invite @miswarofficiall who dares to travel alone, @yaladeeds and @gertu to join this contest, they know they can trust me 😉💕
10% for each one of you!

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