Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week31: Keeping Friendship After Marriage

Marriage is the union of two couples who has decided to be with each other forever till death do them apart and is a major milestone in our life’s journey. While some people are able to keep stable friendships after their marriage vows, some keep their distance from their friends to avoid unnecessary entanglement.

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In this post we will be talking on what we think about continuing friendship after marriage, the idea of calling your bestie and experiences you have encountered.

Before going ahead, let me invite @nesydahlia, @emmy01 and @uduak23 for the contest

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For guys, we continue our friendship after marriage. It has never really been a big deal. We still see ourselves same way as if nothing happened. We tease each other, quarrel and fight each other, laugh with each other. But we try to set some boundaries, to let your guys know that that there’s a limit you can cross when it comes to family and as a married man, you draw the line there and everyone adjust.

When it comes to the opposite sex, is a different ball game entirely. I don’t think any lady or guy will feel too comfortable when they are competing for for the attention of their spouse. We understand the fact that there are people who are introvert by nature and will prefer a smaller circle, thereby giving attention to their friends of the opposite gender but it’s important to create a clear boundaries between friendships and the marital relationship in order to prevent misunderstandings or jealousy.

This world we are now, a lot of crazy shit has happened all in the name of “bestie” especially with the opposite sex. The bestie seems to know a lot about the marriage even more than you, that’s the spouse. Ladies tend to talk more and when the husband isn’t giving a listening ears all the time, guess who she goes to next, “bestie”. Trust me, you don’t want your wife bestie to be a guy, you will have high blood pressure in two months. You won’t know when you will go and higher a private detective to follow your wife.

Second thing that came to my mind while writing this contest is that, what if your wife bestie happens to be a female and she is jealous of her without her knowing. She will do everything to destroy the marriage by feeding her wrong advice.

With the stuff I’ve seen, I don’t think bestie should be encouraged. There’s a reason they always encourage people to marry their bestie’s or whatever name they call themselves.

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I’ve seen a lot of bestie that later turned into a relationship. I’m not an exception but in my own case we were better off as friends because the relationship was short lived. But let me talk about the recent one happening in Nigeria. A lady who had a boyfriend before going into a reality show and after the show she became famous and a celebrity.

It didn’t take long she got a celebrity bestie that’s a guy. People loved how closed they were and you could see them hanging around everywhere. Before we could say “Robinson crusoe” the lady is pregnant for this same bestie. Nobody saw it coming.

Just recently, the lady got engaged to her old flame that she left for her bestie. Bestie is now jealous and decided to taunt the newly engaged lady with the picture of himself and the baby they had together.

The point I’m trying to make here is that, no matter how disciplined we claim to be, as long as you keep the opposite sex as bestie, emotions will always come up between you guys and the chances of ruin each other’s marriage or relationship is high. In marriages, bestie should not be encouraged.

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Is healthy keeping friends after relationship because you don’t know who God has placed in your spouse life that can be her destiny helper. Besides, before she met you, she already had close pals but among all of them she chose you.

So, your wife keeping friends isn’t really a big deal. Isolating your wife from her friends could bring unnecessary quarrel between you guys. But it’s important she prioritize the marriage while maintaining connections with her friends.
Boundaries should be set in cases of trespassers that won’t want to respect themselves.

In conclusion, mutual respect, open communication and a clear set boundaries is important in maintaining friendship within the context of marriage.