Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week 51: I Learnt to Say NO

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LEARNT TO SAY NO

Do you find it hard to say no to people's request?

If you do not find it difficult to say no, then I definitely do find it difficult to say no. Sometimes at the moment something is being requested of you by an individual at that moment with much pleadings you literally seem as their saviour at the moment. It seems like all their hope, is being placed on you. You would have loved to say no, but you wouldn't dare, because it seems they could break down and their tears would be a river. Funny as it might seem but if saying no, would make them sullen, you initially say yes and become the light, happiness and smile they could ever wear.

Mention Reasons why people find it difficult to say no.

• First, as an individual who possess empathy, you will initially find it very difficult to say no, because you will tend to out yourself in their shoes and help them out by not saying no to their request.

• Second, some individual say no because they don't want to be seen as a rude individual.

• Third, if you ever find it difficult to say no, you definitely feel saying no will hurt and distort and individual. Come out of it I will say.

• Fourth, an individual who is capable and known by people that he rarely says no to request will always be called upon when help is needed knowing fully well, that he is likely to say no.

What was the Experience that taught you to say no.

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Esther a tertiary student never said no to anyone. She had friends whom she mingled with and has never said no them even when it is against her own detriment.she goes extra miles to ensure that she never sees anyone hurt and never said no to anyone. Your smile is all Esther needed but sometimes she hurt deeply inside and gets angry for not saying no when she could have done so. It led to her having depression at times but, she kept battling and never said no to anyone.

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You could tell that Esther wanted to be known as that humble, selfless, obedient and respectful child. Need not to say, her character was one every parent needed for their children.

Esther! Esther!! Esther!!!
“Yes” she said trying to crawl out of her soft and cozy bed. I bet you are still asleep please just wake up and come help me so we could get the cooking done.

It wasn't her turned to cook, it was that of her senior sis Julianne. But, Julianne knew that Esther would never say no, so she needed some help and bet me she knew she could count on Esther.

“Give me a minute” she said while trying to tidy up her bed. She said her morning prayers, brushed her teeth and washed her face before strolling down to meet Julianne. She helped in the cooking and went ahead to do her chores without complain. She never said no to anyone because she believed she would hurt them if she said so. So, she lived with the ideology of saying yes to everyone.

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At the tertiary level, her bond with her friends grew more. Ariana and Stephanie were glad she never said no to them. They appreciated her closely. Both informed individuals who are in need to ask her for help which they did. She got angry she attracted people who come and go, but she could not say no to them she smiled and helped them.

“She said no to me”. This was Havilah a student who had gotten closer to Esther because she never said no to anyone. Dashing to the rest room to shed a tear. Ariana and Stephanie who saw her dashing off ran to know what had just occurred.

“I can't believe she said no to me”😭😭😭
Havilah said.
You cannot be serious why would she? “She has never said no”. Both chorused
Taking Havilah with them, Esther comes forth and she is asked “did you just say no to Havilah, But why would you?”. There, it sawn on her she was just kept because she never said no.

“How dare you ask me such?”. She yelled
I have been giving my food off to her matter how hungry I am. Because, she always says she is hungry. Have you ever sat down to ask if I would love to have a portion of my meal I bring in daily? No you don't, you all care about yourself. I developed ulcer because I was unable to say no to you and today I begged your pardon it will be impossible to give you my food and there you three stand to question me with what I should do. No I am definitely not giving in to your trash game anymore”.

Ariana, Stephanie and Havilah together with some students who gathered to see what happened were all shocked because she has never yelled and never said no.

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An urge of relief ran through my spine. I felt great I could say no but I felt bad I yelled. I am glad I could stand up for myself because no matter what happens people will really appreciate. I had ulcer due to being afraid I'd hurt them but did they care no. They cared about themselves.

What is your advice for those who are still struggling to say no as an answer?

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I will definitely advice you to say no if it is against your own detriment. If you don't want to say no because you will discomfort yourself, then say no in a very polite manner. You could use sentences like “ I am sorry”. To give your point and state clearly it is a no from you.

When you are an individual that keeps saying Yes to every single person, they introduce new people to you and say she never says no. Then, you find yourself struggling daily and getting angry with yourself for not saying no to something. You keep suppressing the emotions which would have been laid out if you had said no to them. You suddenly find yourself in constant depression, anger , and mood swings which would have been avoided all because you choose to sometimes please individuals who only want to use you.

I will advise, learn to say no except you are capable of handling such situations immediately without feeling any impact of not saying no

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I would love to invite my friends @imohmitch @davidmarkgeorge and @promisezella to join