Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week 51: I Learnt to Say NO
Saying "no" is often one of the hardest things to do. For many, it feels almost illegal, as if rejecting a request is an act of defiance against societal norms. I used to be one of those people who said yes to everyone. I believed that if I said no, I would be perceived as the rudest person. My primary concern was always to be seen as a good person in the eyes of others. Consequently, I would agree to everything, no matter how inconvenient or detrimental to my well-being.
Always saying yes is exhausting. It means constantly bending over backward to please others, agreeing with their points of view, and doing whatever they ask of you. I was trapped in this cycle of people-pleasing because I wanted to maintain a positive reputation. I felt that by saying yes, I was being kind and accommodating, but in reality, I was hurting myself.
One day, I reached a breaking point. I realized that certain people only contacted me when they needed something. They never asked how I was doing or showed any genuine interest in my life; it was always about what I could do for them. This epiphany led me to start saying no to those who were clearly using me.
The change was profound. As soon as I began to assert my boundaries, these individuals disappeared from my life as if they had vanished into thin air. It was a stark revelation: they were never truly friends; they were opportunists. Now that they knew I would no longer cater to their demands, they had no reason to stay in touch.
This experience taught me valuable lessons about why people say yes and the consequences of learning to say no.
Why Do People Always Say Yes?
Many people are afraid of being perceived as rude or unkind if they say no. They worry about damaging their reputation and being disliked. And some individuals derive satisfaction from making others happy, even at the cost of their own well-being. Saying yes often seems an easier path, because saying "No" can build conflicts so people say yes to avoid conflict between them, and those with low self-esteem might feel that they need to earn others' approval and validation by always agreeing.
Consequences of Saying No
When you start saying no, you'll quickly discover who values you for yourself and who only values what you can do for them. True friends will understand and respect your boundaries. By setting boundaries, you encourage healthier, more respectful relationships. People who respect your no are likely to be more genuine and supportive. Most important learning to say no fosters self-respect. It shows that you value yourself and your time, and that you won't allow others to take advantage of you.
Think before you say yes to someone. Because there is a difference between "Helping Someone and Letting Them Taking Advantage of Us". Try to say No with politeness. Like, I'm sorry I can't do this, or I have other commitments. Don't be available anytime for anyone.
I invite @midha, @soulfuldreamer, and @event-horizon to participate in this wonderful contest.
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