Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week 51: I Learnt to Say NO.

As humans, we have come across situations that have required us to say a yes/no. And at one point, we said yes intentionally, knowing we should have said no. At one point, we have also regretted saying yes, instead of no.

At this juncture, would you still hold on yes when you know it's not going well with you? When you know the consequences of saying yes, would you still say yes? I don't know about you. I'll say no, in peace, and that will end it, as long as it goes well with me.

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Growing up as a little girl, I was just a nice girl trying to please people. I always considered telling people no may hurt them, that was then not any more. You see, as long as it pleases me and won't cause me any regret, I say No, when I should and Yes, when it's necessary. So I don't have any difficulty saying no politely.

Like my former self, other people find it difficult to say no because:

1. They want to please others: they feel the individual will feel bad without first considering themselves.

2. To prove a point: people say yes to prove their good or kind heart

3. When they're guilty of something, the only answer is yes, instead of no, to cover their mess

4. The want to express love and respect to the other person.

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There are many reasons why I stood up with a yes or no, but this specific one was the very first time I learnt to say no.

Escorting friends to visit their friends and family members taught me a lesson after I was almost raped by a friend of a friend of my friend who innocently asked me to visit her relative. Innocent, I never knew their intentions until I saw the handwriting and devised means to run away as fast as my two legs could go.

From that moment, more than 20 years now, I learnt to say no to escorting people to places I have no idea about, it also taught me to be careful with friends.

Saying no shows you are independent, it saves you from regret and bondage of guilt. You don't need to deny yourself the truth and subject yourself to regret and suffering. Learn to say no assertively without being passive.

Saying no, doesn't make you a mean or wicked person, it doesn't means you should stomach nonsense or stoop low to say yes. You're entitled to your opinion which is no, in a very beautiful way.

It's great when we go out of our ways to help others, but going out of ways to say yes, when we should say No, may end in regret. As much as possible, you can friendly say no without hurting the other party as long as you are great with it.

I'm inviting
@realitytrend
@impersonal
@sbamsoneu

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