My Spec In A Lady

Greetings to you my amazing friends. Trusting God y'all are doing good? I'm also doing good at my end. This contest brought back some old memories of me. Memories of some encounter I had while I was trying to shoot my shot. Thanks @okere-blessing for putting up this contest.

Source

How often do you hear the word spec? Can you briefly explain it to people who may be hearing it for the first time?

I've actually lost count of the number of times I've heard the word "spec". It's a common language here in Nigeria which is synonymous to "qualities" or "specifications". It is often used by both genders and it's most common amongst the younger generation. They often used such word whenever they are looking for certain qualities in a guy or lady. For instance, some ladies will say her spec man should be stinkingly rich, handsome, tall, very social, and fun to be with while some men will say their spec lady must be a working class, must be intelligent, must be pretty and must be submissive.

I remember an encounter I once had with a lady I wanted to chyke (ask her out). Though she never said it to my face, but I got to hear about it from one of her friends. She said I wasn't her spec because she feels I won't be able to afford her luxury lifestyle or cater for her bills. That I'm too gentle and I look churchy. She said she's even imagining what gave me the courage to approach her in the first place. Omoh, this lady lambast and white-washed me from my hair to my toes. I just thank God she never said it to my face else, I wouldn't know where I will bury my head from this embarrassment.

For some persons, the kind of spec they look out for is not material stuffs like physical looks or beauty or money but they go for what that person is made up of like character and intelligence just like the popular Nigeria pick up line goes; "I love you for what you are and not for who you are".

Source

What are some qualities your spec must possess?

For me, I would love my woman to be a critical thinker, someone who can think out of the box, someone who can contribute positively to building a home and not someone who waits for her man to cater for everything in the home.

My kind of woman must be respectful. She must be able to rest not just the elderly or those who senior her alone but also, she must accord respect to all irrespective of your background or status. We are all humans and I feel all should be treated with respect. Once I see you disrespect someone becauae of his/her status, I'll see that as a red flag because I'll feel that I'm only being respected because of what I have at that moment. Once everything is gone, the respect will also disappear.

Lastly but most importantly, she must be God fearing. Men are said to be the head of the home but I say women are the foundation of all homes and if a foundation is not built on God, then I can only imagine how that house will stand.

Source

Do you think people should wait until they find their spec before getting along or getting married to each other?

Never...!!! Sometimes, people marry wrong because they are waiting to marry their spec. They go for the physical looks neglecting the actual features they are supposed to watch out for. Features like individual's character and attitude.

Sometimes if you are waiting to meet with your spec before thinking of getting married trust me, you'll grow old as there's no perfect human being on earth. You can't find all the spec you're looking for in a single person. Most times after wasting all the years searching for our Mr. right, we get to a stage that we'll start praying and asking God to give us anyone who's willing to settle down with us.

Source

What do you do when your is not in love with you

You see, that is where the problem lies. Sometimes even after finding our spec, we ourselves mighg not be the other person's spec. Out of desperation, we often throw ourselves at them and later come back crying of being used and dumped. I'll advice us to not just focus entirely on spec, but stay anywhere we find love.

Guys, @vickyson @owulama @ashley-p, what's your contribution on spec