Courtship: How should it be.

Greetings everyone and trust you are well. Am glad to be here to participate in this amazing contest by @okere-blessing to discuss this all time interesting topic on courtship.

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In my own understanding, courtship is the period a couple uses to get to know each other usually between the time the man proposes to the woman and the time that they walk down the to the alter to be joined in matrimony as husband and wife.

In other words, when a man gets engaged to the woman he wants to get married to, there’s usually a time frame between that engagement and the time the marriage happens proper. That period in between this two ends is known as the courtship period.

The essence of this time is for the two to study each other getting to know their likes and dislikes, what makes the other tick or back away. It’s more of a period of self discovery for the two parties with the hope of building a lasting future.

I believe In courtship before marriage. In as much as I’ve interacted with so many married people and they would always tell you that you can never get to that point when you fully know your partner to the extent that you can say you’ve known all there is to them. Yet courtship is important to get to know the person you are looking forward to settle down with to an extent.

Courtship is meant to be a period of open mindedness and transparency and not a period of pretense. Marriage is said to be a revealer and for two people who are genuinely interested in making their marriage work, it’s advisable to make use of this time judiciously working towards building character and effective communication skill to achieve their desired goals for their relationship.

They should ask open questions to one another about intricate things that may be a bother on the relationship and also make plans towards the future. The two must ensure to come to a point of agreement or compromise as they plan the future together for two cannot work together except they agree.

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There is no particular amount of years that is stipulated for courtship but I have heard some of my mentors teach that courtship is not meant to last for so long. They advise that couples should court for a period of six months to as most two years.

This is in order to avoid sexual sins before marriage. If you prolong your courtship for so long, you may fall into the temptation of premarital sex and that won’t be good for the relationship hence the shorter the courtship period the better for both parties.

I can’t categorically say that courtship is a guarantee for a successful marriage. I’ve seen people who married without even knowing each other for so long and their marriage is working while those who had so long a courtship are struggling in their marriages.

This still boils down to the fact that you can never get to knowing all the dept of a man or a woman. I heard a man saying that after 18 years of marriage, he is still knowing his wife. This was because she brought out a version of herself he has never seen in the last eighteen years. So you see.

A successful marriage is a product of so many things like understanding, love and commitment amongst others. If a marriage must work, the two people involved must determine to put in the right effort to make the marriage work. Two cannot work together except they agree says the holy Bible.

Sex during courtship is a no for me. The Bible categorically made it clear to us that the marriage bed must be holy and undefiled. Sex is only legal in the confines of marriage. Anything outside marriage is an abuse of its purposes.*

Hence the two parties involved must excercise self control in the area of waiting until they are legally married before they can engage in sexual relations.

My advice to the people in courtship right now is that they should approach courtship with open mindedness and be transparent with one another so that they can maximize their courtship period. They should know it’s not a time for pretense.

They should also try as much as possible to shorten their courtship period so as to reduce the idea of sexual temptation and then they should exercise self control towards their lover until they are duely married.

In conclusion courtship should be a beautiful period of unveiling for two hearts who are willing to make the most out of their relationship and they should do all it takes to make it worth the while.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I do hope you enjoyed reading this. I invite @ruthjoe @jovita30 @dirapa to participate in this contest.