Being in love...

Why am I being in love again? I mean it's still only butterflies but anyways. If I could I would love being able to avoid it. Since the first time I've fallen in love with someone it's only been rejection or pain. It has never started nicely for me. Not even with my two last long-term relationships.

So now I'm here, with a knot in my stomach and chest waiting for it to be the next big fail. I've learned a lot since last time I had a crush and got played. I learned to contain myself. To keep it cool.

This time. Maybe. You'll think I'm crazy even talking about being in love or having butterflies if I told you that we just met a week ago. To the day. But this feeling of familiarity and closeness with a yet random stranger (we met via app) is so unbelievably strong. The way she looked at me on both dates.

And I? I'm afraid I'm burning my fingers once more. Since we met via app. I don't really believe that this is taking us much further.

And yet I'm here. Waiting for tonight to come to ask her what our plans for tomorrow will be. If.

I'm in love again and I'm afraid again and still...this time is different. It feels better but as my past has shown... something might show up. An ex. Another person who has been hesitant in admitting his love. Her not feeling like that at all.

And I would just like to be able to enjoying a crush for once.