WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?

Hello Steemians. Hope you are all well. I am @pixiepop and I thank @villarrealjj for inviting me to participate in this contest.

THE LAST DAY
He walked while facing backwards at me
Though legs moving forward
He was waving frantically at me
Sadness filled in his eyes
As that was the last time we were to see
Each other till next year

He got onto the train
It sped off
His smile plastered on the window screen
That smile that I had seen numerous times
Though now what I could deduce from them
Was gratefulness for the time spent together

Phone rung twice
Hello, and all I could were sobs
“Renauld is dead”
My body numbed by shock
Phone fell out of my hands
Turned to walk to the chair
Hit myself on the table

My head came back to perspective
Picked up my phone and I got all the details
Burial was the next day
I sat in the chair and I was transported back
To yesterday

The way he hugged me
The way he kept on looking at me
When my eyes teared
The way he waved
The way he kept his head glued to the window
As the train sped off
How he kept on a smile to encourage me that all
Would eventually be well

Dad had fought cancer for so long
He had done his best to be positive
Not to burden anybody
He had carried his load so gracefully
I had escorted him to the train
On a lovely Saturday morning

The doctor had said
A new treatment had been discovered
Which was going to prolong his life for ten years
And the pain was going to be minimal
I was excited that finally he was going
To live life without suffering a lot

In my excitement I forgot that there
Might be a chance of him not making it
The doctor had emphasized that the drug
Was compatible with atleast 99% of pancreatic cancer patients
Little did I know that dad was in the 1%
Little did I know that it would not work for him

I hugged him
I cried with him, we laughed together
However I did not cry, hug or smile with him
Like it would be our last time together
My hopes were really high
I never thought they would disappear
In thin air like as if they were non-existent

My mind went along these lines
I could have smiled more at him
I would have hugged him harder
I would have have expressed how much
I loved and appreciated him

Image Source

I would have made him his favorite tea
As often as he liked it
But all these thoughts just make me cry harder
I am literally sobbing in the chair
It has been two hours now and
The tears can not stop flowing

I sob into the phone asking my friend
To please come over
“Oh Pixie I am so sorry to hear this” she says
Knock, knock she is at my door within an one hour
She envelopes me in a hug
I sob afresh, and she cleans my tears

She prepares our clothes for burial
Slated for 9 am the next day
I work up the courage to tell her
How I feel, how I feel like I did not do enough
How I would have acted differently
If I knew that was the last time I would see him

She smiles sympathetically at me
And tells me
Pixie you did not know any better
So you did the best you could
I am sure wherever he is
He feels like he was loved by you

Those words warm my heart
And I sleep peacefully to the best of my ability
At night

We bury him the next day
However the tears I am crying now
Are those of remembrance of the time we spent
Together
Now I know we both loved each to the best of our
ability
And all that is left in my heart
Is gratefulness for having a dad
That cared so much for me

Who loved me and was not afraid to show it
And what I vow to do
Is treat everybody whether friends or family
Every time I meet them like it is our last time
To be happy in their presence
To speak words that build them
To show more warmth
To spread love everywhere I go.

@iraguha @yohan2on @amazing-grace

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