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RE: the diary game || 08-26-2022 || the old me || @jal08

in Steem Kids & Parents2 years ago

Having fun with friends and family is always nice.
Thank you for sharing some great times with us.

Next time when you write a post check your grammar, spelling and punctuation.

Your version:

enjoying coffee in the afternoon, at 5:00 in the afternoon, I was invited by my friend, met at a coffee shop not far from where we live, here we joked a lot. talked about our daily activities. we went to school when we were 15 years old, now we meet again, and have a family. With different professions, we sometimes tell stories and reminisce about when we were single. it feels like we want to go back again when we were still in school. my beautiful childhood..

My version:

Enjoying coffee in the 05:00 in the afternoon. I was invited by my friend.

We met at a coffee shop not far from where we live. Here we joked a lot and talk about our daily activities.
We went to the same school when we were 15 years old, now we meet again.

We both have a family and have different professions. We sometimes tell stories and reminisce about when we were single. It feels like we want to go back again when we were still in school.
My beautiful childhood..

Can you see

  1. The difference more paragraphs make?
  2. Capital letter at the beginning of a sentence

Lastly, make your images a bit smaller.

Ps: Keep on writing! You have great potential.

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Thank you

 2 years ago 

All that remains now is for me to see how you do it (•ิ‿•ิ)
Go for it!

Thank you

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