SEC 17 WK: #1: forgiveness unites family.

Forgiveness is letting go of anger, bitterness, resentment and grudges. Forgiveness is a two -way process- forgiving another person and forgiving yourself. To me, forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting the harm done to me; it doesn't mean that I have to be friends with them or make up with them to hurt me again. I forgive because forgiveness brings a kind of tranquillity to my soul, a kind of peace that allows me to focus on myself and move on.

Forgiveness does not come easily but it is possible for me to forgive when I set my minds and hearts to it. Although, sometimes the hurt may be too deep, because of the betrayals from parents, siblings, spouse , and extended members of the family, or when I am accused of a crime I didn't commit or when I am emotionally, physically and verbally abused or bullied by them. Such grievous hurt is very difficult to forgive but I have to forgive since holding on to those pain, hurt and anger will emotionally and mentally drain me and make the relationship that I have with my family to suffer.

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Moreover, unresolved conflict can go deeper than one may realize it. It may affect one's physical health. An act of forgiveness can gain huge rewards for one's health,lower the risk of heart attack, reduce pain, blood pressure, anxiety, depression and stress. Also, a chronic anger puts one into a fight or flight mode, which results to lot of changes in the body and immune response.

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Those changes increases the risk of depression, heart disease and other conditions. Forgiveness , however, calms stress levels, leading to improved health. As I releases the anger, bitterness and hostility, I begin to feel compassion, kindness and empathy for the person that wronged me.

Naturally, I am the type of person that easily forgives and more forgiving, not because I don't feel the hurt or the wrong done to me but because I didn't want to hang on to grudges and suffer depression, stress , anger and anxiety.

I am using this case as an example. A family member hurt one of my youngest sisters, she caused a lot of emotional, psychological and physical damage to her body, that up till date, my sister is still in pain, suffering the abuses especially the physical abuse she caused her. I always ask myself, why should I forgive such person especially whenever I see my sister suffering that body/ physical pain that my aunt caused her.

How do I forgive a member of the family that prays for me not to succeed? someone that said lots of unprinted and abusive words to me just because she naturally dislikes and hate me for no reason. I can go on and on but why do I have to forgive them? It is not easy to forgive people like that especially a family member that traumatized me, that caused me and my sister lot of pain, damages and unforgettable sad memories. I forgive them not because they deserved it but because of my mental health, and sanity that I choose to let go. I forgive because I want to be free from those pain they caused me. I forgive because I choose kindness, compassion and empathy over those hurts they caused me.

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In conclusion, forgiveness is a choice. It is a process in which I make a conscious decisions to let go of all the negative feelings, whether the person deserves it or not. I chose to forgive not because they merited it but because I want to be happy, free and have a healthy life.

I invite my friends @sbamsoneu, @goodybest and @weisser-rabe to participate in this contest.