SEC17 WK:#1: Forgiveness unites family

Bitter Bitter, Full Stop, Comma Theta Post. When you see me on the road, don't call me again. Call me baster, call me mad man. I'll never follow you to that station.

These were wordings of our mouth when we were young. We started holding grudges from there. Any small mistake from our peers, maybe we refuse to give them something, they'll end the friendship. This also happened in the house or family settings. When my sister tore my book by mistake and told me sorry, I became angry and not talk to her again. Grudges weren't held for long.

After few days, we'll laugh and smile. We'll forgive ourselves without doing so formally but playerfully. We grew up with this before coming to find out why forgiveness is a virtue.

My view of forgiveness

Forgiveness simply means pardoning or letting go of a mistake one did to us. It's a quality that is backed by love. If you don't love someone, it would be difficult to forgive that person. That's how the scriptures define forgiveness. It says love doesn't keep account of injury. So if you keep account of injury or mistake of something someone did to you, it means you don't love that person.

	Honey I'm sorry
	Darling, I love you. I'm sorry too. I forgive you

This is the real definition of forgiveness. It's not about telling someone I'm sorry casually boring because you're forced to do so, you do it willingly and from the heart.

Forgiveness also mean overlooking an offense. This means if someone did something that hurts you badly, you can just choose not to respond to with how you're feeling. You just allow the mistake pass instead of taking it personal to heart. This will avoid cases of grudges or you having to seek forgiveness from both parties.

It also means forgiving and forgetting although this may not be that easy as you may at one point in your life remember what the person did to you. A situation may arise that may trigger that memory. Forgiveness also means not holding a grudge against your offender. It's more like saying you forgave the person but that person is still in your heart, bitterly.

Forgiveness then and Now in Families

We are imperfect humans and are prone to making mistakes. These mistakes can spring deliberate and unintentional attitudes of people. These mistakes aren't limited. Everyone makes mistakes and at some point needs to be forgiven. The greatest personage of forgiveness is our creator who has given us a kindness that is underserved. He overlooks our sins, doesn't keep account of it and then forgives us when we ask for his mercies.

Forgiveness back then was a common thing years back. Mistakes were easily forgiven by offenders then compared to now where people have hearts as hard as stone to overlook an offense talk more of forgiving. They feel it's a way of being strong, not stupid and not being a weakling. Many finds it difficult to forgive those who offends them this generation.

pexel	Pexel

If someone slaps you on your left cheek or step on you, instead of overlooking that offense, you're expected to hit that person hard back on the cheek so you'll not feel looked down on.

This is seen in most families today which brings about divorce and separation. At times, challenges of money and other factors can make spouses either raise their voices on the other leading to solitude and grudges. I know of a family head that fails to provide food and support for the family but always eat outside.

This made the wife enrage and said things that hurt the man so hard. They both raised their voices on each other and did things their own way. They don't sleep on the same bed and a lot of separate things

Forgiveness was the only solution in this case. They had this grudges for 9 good months but there was a scripture someone read to both of them that changed their thinking and made them realise their mistakes. They became one and united and resolved their differences. The below is my true life story

My life story on Forgiveness

I'll use pictures of two friends to illustrate this

It all started when I was young and was still in my secondary school days. Those days, I do save money right from when I started high school till I got to the point of graduating out of high school. I usually lend money to my colleagues who I'm sure will pay me back. This was a trusted friend who I lended money from my savings to use in purchasing a textbook for school.

This boy was out of funds and was in a tight situation. I gave him deadline to pay back the money of which he promised to collect from his parents. When the deadline reached, I kept quiet to see what he'll do. He never called me or meetup with me to tell me why he hasn't paid the money. 2 days passed, I reminded him and he pretended to forget from the tone of his voice. He promised to payback in 5 days, of which I didn't agree to such conditions.

I didn't allow him leave until he paid what he owed. The words he said to me were so hurtful that I was shocked. You're owing someone a huge amount of money and yet you're raising voices on the person? I was so pissed and decided to end all connections with him after I got my money back.

I went to his house to report to his parents that I needed my money in no time. They were surprised not until I explained. This guy is someone I can call a brother and friend but I was just so disappointed with him because I had plans for the money.

His parents paid me and I went off. We never had anything to do with each other again. I held this grudge in my heart with this guy for a long period of time. This grudge was a heavy load for me and sometimes makes me uncoordinated. Anytime I saw him, I saw hate.

There was one scripture I read few weeks after the happening which says that before God hears my prayer snd accept my sacrifices of praise, i must first mske peace eoth my brother. True, I wasn't at peace with my friend and I held grudges with him. His mistake didn't get off my mind easily. Although the mistake was deliberate by him, I felt right. Even though he acted foolishly by his behaviour, I had to overlook whatever happened so I'll not lose my friend.

I had to think of ways I would have made this right. It was done and done. There was nothing we could do to reverse it. All I needed to do was to get back my lost friend and make things right before I die with grudge.

That's how we talked things out together. He felt I was just wicked and not understanding while I felt he was wicked and I'm right and not a weakling to let go of my money. Love brought us together and forgiveness was our watch word. We became best of friends forever up till now........

That's how it end. There's a saying, let love lead. Forgiveness is a virtue backed by love. Holding an offense or grudge is more painful than a serious illness. You take up problems you didn't plan for. It may be hard to forgive but humility and love can do the job. Even if you're the one offended, it takes humility to approach the offender so as to gain him back. There are certain things we overlook to protect our lives and those we love. I invite @basil20, @okere-blessing and @josepha