Steeming Community Contest| "Overcoming My Greatest Fear"by @alexanderpeace

Greetings. Am glad to participate in another beautiful Contest in our amazing Community. Thank you @fabio2614 for this beautiful opportunity to discuss a very crucial matter that affects us all.

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We all have our strengths and weaknesses, our victories and our fears. Most times we tend to be defeated and are limited by these fears until we are able to overcome them. I've had my fair share of fears and I've been able to overcome some of them. So today an going to be sharing with us some fears I had and tips on how I was able to overcome them and what I learnt from them while dealing with them.

Fear is also known as phobia.

One of the greatest fear I had to deal with was Glassophobia. Glassophobia is the fear of speaking especially public speaking. You may say almost everyone suffers from this, but wait a minute before you conclude. If I was just afraid of speaking publicly, then my world would have been a haven of Peace. My case was bad enough that I couldn't speak to people personally. I loved to Communicate with people and be heard but I would rather keep quiet than contribute to any talk around me. The reason was because I stutter. The stuttering at a point was so bad and I couldn't make any useful contribution without stuttering hence it made me withdrawn and I was always afraid to talk to people individual talk more of publicly.

You may ask why I stutter, I'll tell you. I wasn't born a stutterer. As a little girl of about 7years old, I remember I could talk fluently but something happened along the line. In the house where we lived, there was another girl who was a chronic stutterer who lived in the same compound with us. I still remember her name till date. Her name is Chizaram. Her stuttering was so bad that she would have to hit you severally before she would pronounce a word. Does that scenario ring a bell?.

As kids we did so many foolish things, therefore I was mimicking Chizaram and making jest of her. I would always hit myself and try to talk like her. It continued for a long while and before you say Jack Robinson, I was already stuttering without control. As a child and young girl, it didn't feel much embarrassed until I grew up and got into college. I would want to start a word and it won't just come out fine. I would want to make a contribution only to keep people wandering how long it would take me to finish what I had to say. It was so frustrating that I had to choose to keep quiet even when I had something to say. Some persons made jest of me whenever I tried to talk. They would usually say how could a beautiful girl like you be stuttering.

So I was afraid to talk to people just to avoid embarrassment. I would rather keep quiet than say anything and it continued for a long time. And to make the situation so frustrating is that I loved be public speaking. When I see people speak boldly in public and address crowds, I admire them alot and something Within me tell me I can do more but my dear of stuttering kept me from speaking hence I became Glassophobic. I continued like that until one day I was tired of the situation and wanted more out of life. I couldn't be taciturn my entire Life. So I decided to face my fears.

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First I decided to change my mindset. I told myself that I can speak to anybody and anywhere whether am stuttering or not. It's not about the people,it's about me first. So I knew I could talk. What I started doing was that I began to rehearse how to talk in private. I would get all dressed up and wear my suit and shoes and stand before my mirror and begin to talk to myself. I talk as if am talking to multitude of people. You know because I stutter, I talk very fast just to avoid stuttering, but that only worsens the situation. So right there before my mirror, I always stand and talk gradually. If I start talking too fast, I would slow down and take it gradually. I learnt to make pronunciation gradually and talk gently in a relaxed format.

As I began to do these practice inside, I noticed that my talking pattern changed. I built self confidence and start relating to people gradually and before you know it boom. I could talk to people personally and publicly without stuttering. Sometimes the stuttering comes up but at that instance, I don't get embarrassed, I say to myself you are charge. I simply calm down, take a deep breath and continue my talking.

The people am talking to will just have to wait. I am in charge. This orientation really helped me. So am no longer ashamed nor do I deal with the fear of talking to people either privately or publicly. Once in a while the stuttering still comes up especially when am angry or not relaxed. But I've learnt to manage it in situations like that.

The next fear I had to conquer which somehow connected to the first is the fear of crowd, talking to the crowd. Whenever am asked to talk to a crowd of people, my heart beats so fast and my feet freezes. All manner of questions races through my mind. Questions such as;
• will they listen to me
• how do I get up the stage
• what do I say first
• what if I start stuttering and etc

I would sometime look for an excuse to avoid talking to the crowd but I knew I just couldn't continue that way. Most times I know what to say and how to start but the challenge is how to get to stand before the crowd. The only strategy I developed to overcome this fear of crowd was to just numb my mind and walk straight up to the podium. I found out that immediately I climbed the stage and say the first word, every trace of the fear and cold feet vanishes. The fear hasn't stopped. It's always there whenever I see a crowd to talk to because am a human resources manager and I always have to talk to people. But I don't let the fear stop me. I've learnt a trick which is to just walk up that stage. Immediately I get up there, every fear vanishes. I talk boldly and the results have been massive.

What I've learnt from these two fears that I've had to deal with and keep dealing with is that whatever you set your mind to do, you can do it your limitations not withstanding. Your first limitation is you. So try and renew your mindset. Change your mindset about the way you see yourself and people will see you like wise. That thing you are afraid of is afraid of you if I may put it the other way round. Stand up head long and confront those fears. I regretted the years I allow fear of stuttering turn me Glassophobic.

Now I tell people. Whether you like it or yes, you just have to listen to me whether am stuttering or not. That doesn't mean I've stopped working on myself but am simply saying I no longer allow myself to cower into cowardice. I must be heard where and when necessary. I use my voice to make an impact in my environment and that's a mile stone to years of been held in bondage for fear.
Today I tell people, if I can talk then you can.

Face that fear, you can do it. You can overcome. It's in you. If I could, you can. I hope you've learnt something from my experience on how to overcome that fear.

Thanks you for visiting my blog. Your comments are welcomed. I invite @giftye, @amazingcyndy, @benson6, @lewas-write to participate in this contest.