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Well.. I have to say that returning back to Australia is quite weird in many ways... as I've mentioned before, I left Australia when I was a student... a completed Master's student... but still, at heart... I felt like an incomplete musician/professional. And now I return back to Australia... and back to the place where I had spent most of my early tertiary years studying... and I'm supposed to be the adult in the room. And definitely, in terms of age... I guess I am, I'm definitely about 20 years older than the students, and they are roughly the similar age that I was before I had left.

But now... I still feel like the same person... but I'm supposed to be the experienced one. I've mentioned this before in the past... that when we talk to our old lecturers, teachers, and mentors... well, we thought (when we were students), that they had their shit together... they looked so assured, confident, and knowledgeable... and now, as colleagues, they confess that they felt the same way that we both feel now. Like we are stepping into shoes that are too big for us... but somehow, we did grow... and the shoes are the right size except for the fact that our minds haven't quite gotten used to that fact.

Now... from the point of view of just playing... well, I have no issue with that. Playing is playing... I know I can do that without anyone's ears bleeding and with no injuries from sharp and hard objects being thrown at me. However, when it comes to teaching and lecturing... the sharing of knowledge... well, all I can say is that I don't feel like I have more of an inside run than anyone else. The truth is... it is all just play and having the bravery and belief in your own playing. And with that, everything can be convincing...

... of course, there is a bedrock of technique, musicianship, and historical knowledge... but anyone can do that. But in some ways... I guess I have forgotten that I have a little bit of a head start on most of the students... and in the historical performance knowledge, even a decent head start on most of my colleagues... but like all things, when you are quite familiar with any topic, it can be hard to remember what people don't know... and that things that are second-nature and familiar to you, are actually quite revelationary to other people who are hearing it for the first time. This is true of anything... and I am always astounded by the amount of knowledge that everyone has, especially when I have no knowledge of a field... I'm always really annoying to the tradesmen who come around to our house, asking them how this and that works... and all sorts of stupid questions (well, stupid to them... but really interesting to me!).

So... I have taken this weekend out from touring, and I have joined a university orchestra as one of their tutors... it is quite fun, to see these young musicians learning, rehearsing, and just enjoying playing together. I will rejoin the tour in a few days... but for the moment, it is really nice to be around players who are not yet in their jaded phase of life... it is quite invigorating!

I can also be found cross-posting at:
Hive
Steem
Publish0x

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