Hi! I'm pleased to read your post.
I think your telegram is great, but in my opinion it could get even shorter. I think there's no need to use "always" and also "every day". At the end I think it's confusing when You use "mispronounced", I would change it for "...when you called me by another name".
The idea is just great!
Regarding task 3, I could feel the pain of the character, you use many phrases to create a contexto, but I wouldn't eliminate any of them.
Blessings