Stories, Learnings and Reflection #10 (A Story of an Abusive Marriage)

Greetings to you my amazing friends. It is with mixed feelings that I'm participating in this content.

Well, well, well...., it is often said that experience is the greatest teacher but hey, I bet there are experiences one wouldn't even wish to encounter. Some experience are avoidable while some aren't. Sometimes I ask myself, why not learn from other people's experiences? Why do you also want to pass through such experiences? Is it because it is said to be the greatest teacher?
Well, sit back as I tell you a true story about my first cousin who was in an abusive marriage.

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This is a story of domestic violence and I hope we all learn from this and know when to call it a quite.
It's an older cousin of mine who got married in the early 2000's. For the sake of this contest, I'll call her Aunty K.

Aunty K was the most happiest person on her wedding day. You don't need a soothsayer to tell you as the expression was all over her. But of course, she also cried knowing that she will be separated from her family to start her home with her husband. For the first few years into their marriage, it was all rosy and blissful. I would say they were one of the most envied couples then. Though they lived in a different town from us, we still keep in touch.

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Trouble began to spring up after like 7 years into the marriage. What was the cause? The mother in-law was the cause. She started mounting pressure on her son to marry another wife cause my cousin couldn't conceive for her son. According to her, her son married a fellow man as wife. The loving and caring husband Aunty K got married to became her nightmare. He suddenly starting drinking, keeping late nights and turning her body in to a punching bag. With all this happening to her, she never let any of us know.

The husband, following the advice of his mother, married another lady (though not legally married) and rented a different apartment for her. He sometimes spent almost a month with the other woman before remembering he's got a legally married wife at home (Aunty K).

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After spending few years with his other woman, she still couldn't conceive for him. Meanwhile my cousin, Aunty K visited the hospital for medical checkup. Result showed she was medically sound. She adviced her husband for them to visit the hospital together but it didn't go down well with him as he pounced on her, battered her face for calling him impotent. It was at this point that we got to know of what was happening in her marriage. We all adviced her to leave that abusive marriage and come back home but surprisingly, she reported us to her husband who then requested she cut ties with us, her family members. He tagged us home breakers. He went to the extent of even changing her contact and monitoring her calls so she doesn't communicate with us. He ensured she cut ties with us.

Years went by without hearing from aunty K. Sometimes we only hear from people that she was in town. She never steps her foot in our home and never called anyone of us. The only time she visited was 2 year ago when she lost her Dad. She only came a week after burial was done and never stayed pass a day before running back to her husband.

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Sometimes last year around month of August, we got a distress call that Aunty K was at the hospital and in coma. We delegated some family members to go visit her. Getting to the facility where she was, they were so disturbed about her condition that they had to request for a referral to a more standard and well equipped facility in our city.

One of Aunty K's eye was badly damaged with her eye ball almost sticking out of the ball socket. What happened? The husband said Aunty K went to the market without taking permission from him. Aunty K was in coma for about two weeks. Doctor said she hit her head on a hard surface and that has affected a part of her brain (there was blood in a part of her brain). The said they could only operate on her if she's conscious as most of her vitals (temperature, pulse and blood pressure) have been very unstable. Other blood results also showed that Aunty K is infected with the Human Immunodeficiency Virus.

It was quiet unfortunate that Aunty K was brought back home in a body bag as she couldn't come out of the intensive care unit alive to re-unite with her family.

It's a story about domestic violence. Yes, marriage is an institution ordained by God, but it's not a death sentence from God.
Leave that abusive marriage as soon as you can. Cut off that toxic relationship as soon as you can.
Love they say is blind but please, it shouldn't blind you to your early grave.

Aunty K was a promising hardworking and ambitious woman whose dreams and aspirations were cut short.
Please, learn from this life story of my cousin.

I'm inviting @deelyt, @owulama and @ashley-p to also participate in this contest.

Cc: @alexanderpeace